I stumbled across a post on social media recently that revealed my ex, the father of my child, is now dating someone new. In the picture, they were grinning from ear to ear, and he was cradling our dog. Both were decked out in matching T-shirts. My heart sank, and I quickly shut the app, my hands trembling.
We’ve been apart for a year, so I completely understand that he has the right to explore new relationships. However, co-parenting changes the dynamics. Even without marriage, we shared six and a half years of life together and welcomed a child into the world. I never expected to find out about his new relationship through a Facebook post, especially since he insists I’m still a close friend.
It’s easy to plaster on a smile and tell everyone you’re happy for your ex while hiding your own pain. Society expects a quick emotional recovery after a breakup, but that’s not how it works. If he were just an ordinary ex, moving on would be easier. But when you share a child, you’ll likely see each other regularly. Looking into his eyes often reminds me of our happy memories, making it even harder to watch him share that joy with someone else.
Two months have passed since I discovered his new girlfriend, and I’ve run the emotional gamut. I’ve felt anger—not just at him for not informing me sooner, but for being the first to find someone new. I’ve had to grieve our relationship all over again, and I worry about the prospect of being alone forever. I try to feel happy for him, but genuine happiness can be elusive. Whenever I finally start to feel okay, another photo pops up, reopening old wounds.
I’ve realized that my feelings are valid, and I have every right to experience them. I embrace them, even when they feel overwhelming. Since my ex and our son are quite close, I see him at least once a week. Sometimes, we share family time together, which only intensifies my feelings of nostalgia and confusion about what could have been. Emotions can be overwhelming.
Curiosity about the new partner is entirely normal. You might find yourself browsing their social media or asking your ex about them (I’ll keep my responses on that to myself). It’s essential to know what’s happening, especially regarding how and when this person will be introduced to your child. If you prefer to wait until the relationship is more serious before this introduction, communicate that clearly. Your ex may not owe you every detail about their new romance, but they should provide information regarding your child’s involvement.
Remember, regardless of your feelings toward the new partner, it’s crucial to maintain neutrality around your child. You need to remain impartial, even if you’re feeling hurt or upset.
There’s no single way to process the end of a relationship. Each day can bring a fresh wave of emotions. It’s okay to feel what you feel; don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it. Your ex might date several people, or they may settle down for good, but eventually, you’ll reach a place where this no longer affects you. You’ll find your own happiness, and it will feel liberating. So go ahead—cry into your ice cream, scream into a pillow, or do whatever helps you cope. Everything will be alright.
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Summary
It’s completely natural to have mixed emotions when your ex moves on, especially when you have a child together. Feelings of anger, sadness, and even curiosity about the new partner are normal. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings and communicate openly about your child’s involvement with the new partner while maintaining neutrality.
Keyphrase
Emotions about Ex Moving On
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