Hey Team,

Why is it that using just ONE single water glass seems completely out of reach?

Dear Family,

You know I cherish you all more than chocolate — yes, even more than my beloved coffee (and I could swear your morning voices sound like a cat in distress before caffeine kicks in — but that’s not your fault). However, for the sake of all things good and holy, why can’t we stick to one water glass? By the end of each day, I feel like we have three or four times as many dirty glasses as there are people in our home. It’s absolutely absurd!

Initially, I understood the allure of grabbing a new glass whenever thirst struck. It’s a hassle to hunt down the one you used just an hour ago, especially when they all look alike and you can’t recall where you put yours. That made sense at the start of our hydration journey together.

But after years — yes, years, my precious ones — of trying to solve this problem, I’ve implemented various systems, each simple enough for a trained monkey to follow. Have they worked? Clearly not.

I’m baffled, my dears. Are you consciously choosing not to adapt, or is it that you simply can’t be trained? This shouldn’t be that complicated.

The Designated Spot Approach

We began with the “designated spot” approach. Everyone would choose a place for their water glass, and after drinking, just return it to that location. That way, you’d always know which glass was yours.

Admittedly, that plan was a bit overly optimistic. If I can’t even get you to toss wrappers in the trash where they belong, what made me think we’d consistently use a specific water-glass location?

The Colored-Rubber-Band System

Not one to back down easily, I then introduced the colored-rubber-band system. I thought it was genius. I placed a bowl of colorful rubber bands right by the water dispenser — easy access! When you grabbed a glass in the morning, just pick a rubber band or two and wrap them around your glass.

Voila! You’d know which glass was yours for the day! Hallelujah!

Except that lasted only a few days. You kept forgetting, and the more I reminded you, the more it slipped your mind. No matter how much I explained The System — its elegance and simplicity — it was as if it vanished from your memory.

The Personalized Beaded Bracelets

Then, I thought, let’s try something even more personal. I crafted unique beaded stretchy bracelets with your names. I dedicated time to making each one colorful and personalized. Surely, this would work! No one could mix up their glass now!

Except somehow, you managed to outsmart that plan too. How do you lose a beaded band that serves a single purpose? In a perfect world, that band would move from the bowl to your glass, then back to the bowl after washing. So simple, right?

Here we are, still wading through dirty glasses every day. I’ve contemplated having you all use your own unique water bottles, but (1) I despise washing those and (2) you’re pretty skilled at misplacing them too. I could assign each of you a unique cup and stash away the rest, but we frequently have friends and family over who also enjoy a drink of water.

Conclusion

Is this really the situation we’ve found ourselves in? Seriously? One glass per day shouldn’t be a monumental task. For heaven’s sake, just make it happen. I’m out of ideas here.

With love,
Your Exasperated (but still brilliant) Mom

Additional Resources

If you’re looking for more insights into family planning and home insemination, be sure to check out resources like Make a Mom’s guide to home insemination kits or learn about Cryobaby’s offerings. For further information on donor insemination, American Pregnancy has excellent resources.

Summary

This humorous piece reflects on the struggle of a family to maintain a simple system of using just one water glass per day. Despite various creative approaches, the author finds herself overwhelmed by the number of dirty glasses accumulating daily, emphasizing the need for cooperation in household tasks.

Keyphrase

one water glass per day