Not long ago, while browsing a Facebook group dedicated to moms of boys, I stumbled upon a post from a frustrated mother. She argued that the Disney Channel was too focused on commercials that uplifted girls, and she felt it was at the expense of boy empowerment. Naturally, she was upset about it.
Many other moms chimed in to support her, and I found myself itching to type a rebuttal. My response essentially highlighted that being male is often seen as the default for success, while women and girls routinely need a boost in a society that frequently marginalizes them. I wanted to be the feminist voice this conversation so desperately needed, but when another mom claimed that concepts like gender neutrality and gender fluidity were crafted to undermine masculinity, I had to log off before my head exploded.
Ladies, listen closely: Internalized misogyny is indeed a reality. It exists, and it’s thriving. You can deny it, but that won’t alter the facts. That Facebook thread was just a glimpse into a much larger issue.
I’m confident in saying that not many spaces in our modern world are waging a war on men or masculinity. In fact, here in the United States, it’s quite the opposite. Just look at the chaotic state of our current administration, which seems to be on a relentless campaign against women starting from their reproductive rights. Yet, some women actively defend these actions—53% of white women voted for a president who openly admitted to inappropriate behavior toward women. It’s wild, and it’s honestly hard to wrap my head around.
Now, let’s take a moment to discuss those white women who supported a misogynistic leader. They exemplify internalized misogyny perfectly. A common refrain I heard was, “I don’t experience discrimination from men, so this inequality talk is nonsense.” Excuse me while I stifle a laugh—just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I’m glad you feel respected by the men in your life, but your experience doesn’t negate the reality faced by countless women, especially women of color.
Donald Trump is a blatant misogynist with a tendency to reduce women to their physical appearances. He has made inappropriate comments about his own daughters and assessed the looks of other women in ways that are both bizarre and troubling. Yet, I’ve seen women justify his so-called “locker room talk” with phrases like “that’s just how men are” or “it’s harmless.”
And you think internalized misogyny isn’t real? You can call me skeptical on that one. It’s shocking how some women fail to recognize the blatant misogyny right in front of them, but I understand how deep-rooted the influence of the patriarchal system is. Have you ever heard about a woman who was assaulted and thought, “Well, she shouldn’t have been drinking?” Or found excuses to shift the blame to the victim? If your answer is yes, you’re likely grappling with internalized misogyny.
Let me be clear: a woman choosing to drink doesn’t ever justify sexual assault. No woman should be “asking for it,” regardless of her attire or behavior. I once shared an article about a young woman who was assaulted by a friend, and a woman responded that she should have “known her limit” with alcohol. Seriously? No. The perpetrator is the one at fault, not the victim. This kind of victim-blaming is a textbook case of internalized misogyny, and it’s far too prevalent.
Unlearning these misogynistic thoughts isn’t easy; we’re conditioned by a patriarchal society. But it’s crucial. We can’t move forward if some women continue to excuse men’s sexist and sometimes criminal actions.
Let’s say it together: Internalized misogyny is real, and it’s harmful. It’s time to challenge ourselves, stop victim-blaming, and start holding people accountable.
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In summary, internalized misogyny is a pervasive issue that requires recognition and action. Women must learn to identify and challenge their biases to foster a more equitable society.
Keyphrase: Internalized misogyny
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