Lila was a whirlwind of energy from the very beginning. While still in the womb, she performed endless somersaults, karate kicks, and even little dances. She took her first steps at 10 months and never looked back. I often joke that she was always on the move, even when it was time for a bathroom break.
Her vibrant personality matched her energy. No child has ever been as clever, determined, and inquisitive as Lila. Instead of just marching to her own beat, she composed her own symphony and played it on instruments of her own making.
Her adventurous spirit extended to food as well. As a toddler, Lila devoured everything in sight, including what was on our plates. The only food she refused was green beans. She happily munched on spinach, avocado, Swiss cheese, and even a stew I made with tomatillo salsa. Her motto seemed to be that the more flavor and variety, the better. As a parent, her eating habits were a dream come true.
When she decided she didn’t want milk at every meal, I thought nothing of it. She was growing, active, and just wanted water. Over the next two years, she gradually added more foods to her banished list. I discussed her eating habits with her pediatrician, who assured me that young children often modify their diets intuitively, balancing protein with fruits and veggies.
However, a nagging worry lingered in the back of my mind. I noticed that her peers were getting taller, while Lila remained much shorter. At her age 5 check-up, I asked the pediatrician if she might not be absorbing the necessary nutrients for growth. I thought a simple vitamin might do the trick — and in my mind, she’d soon be as tall as her classmates.
The pediatrician humorously tested her blood, emphasizing that she came from short parents. At her age 6 check-up, I again expressed concern about her minimal weight gain. The pediatrician ordered a bone density scan, which came back normal. “She’s just petite,” was the reassuring response. I shelved my concerns once more.
Then, just three weeks after her 7th birthday, everything changed. I received a call from her first-grade teacher that started us on a painful journey. Lila had been seen throwing away her entire lunch by a lunchroom aide. When I spoke with her, Lila said she did this because she wanted to be healthy. I explained that eating was essential for her growth and energy levels. That night, I asked her again, and she casually mentioned that she had been doing this almost every day.
My mind raced with the implications. The list of banned foods had grown alarmingly: milk, cheese, peanut butter, cake, and even snacks like donuts and fries. Lila began obsessively asking if certain foods were healthy, reading labels, and negotiating portion sizes. She was even captivated by cooking shows. At the time, these behaviors seemed normal, even trivial. But looking back, I see how insidiously her eating disorder crept into our lives.
A close friend urged me to reach out to an eating disorder center for an assessment. They confirmed my worst fears — Lila’s behaviors were clear indicators of an eating disorder. However, they stated that at 7 years old, she was too young for their program and suggested we return in five years.
If I had known then what lay ahead, I would have acted sooner. I was blissfully unaware of the severity of her disorder — a relentless force threatening to undermine my daughter’s health and our family life. I took the center’s rejection as a hopeful sign that we could manage this with our pediatrician’s help. Today, I wish I could shake my previous self out of that naïveté.
Now, I refer to this struggle as “our” eating disorder because my daughter is not alone in this battle. I’m fully equipped to fight for her, and I will continue to do so as long as I have breath in my lungs. This past year has been the most challenging of my life, leaving me wounded daily, but I will not back down. The eating disorder will come to regret crossing paths with me.
If you or someone you know is facing an eating disorder, there are resources available. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on what to expect during your first IUI, and learn about boosting fertility with supplements linked in our blog.
In summary, I was oblivious to the signs of my daughter’s eating disorder, but now I am determined to fight for her well-being. This journey has been incredibly tough, yet I will continue to stand by her side and confront this challenge head-on.
Keyphrase: My daughter’s eating disorder
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