Updated: June 11, 2018
Originally Published: Aug. 5, 2017
Last summer, my daughter urged me to compile a photo book chronicling our family trip to South Dakota. A year had flown by since that adventure, and we were gearing up for our next getaway. I sat by her side navigating the painstaking process of downloading images, crafting captions, and choosing graphics for our photo book. It was a long haul, and without her nudging, I likely would have never completed it.
As I assembled the book, a realization dawned on me: I was only present in selfies or group photos taken by strangers. My husband had captured countless beautiful moments with our kids—both candid and posed—yet, there were hardly any of me. He claimed his phone wasn’t the best for photography, but mostly, he just hadn’t considered it. To him, my absence in the vacation pictures didn’t even register.
With our photo book project fresh in my mind as we set off for another family vacation, I found myself snapping car selfies and taking pictures of the kids and my husband during our pit stops. Once we arrived at our destination, I mentioned to my husband how I felt like I was absent from our previous vacation photos.
My Role in Planning
I had meticulously organized the entire trip:
- I made all the arrangements for hotels, checking for swimming pools and free breakfasts.
- I planned our meals and scouted restaurants.
- I explored forums for kid-friendly activities.
- I booked excursions and maintained a list of options for each day.
- I crafted a detailed packing list.
- I ensured the kids had enough clothes for varying weather and extra swimwear for wet suits.
- I packed their favorite books, movies, games, and even picked up new activities for the car ride.
- I prepared snacks and curated fun playlists.
While we were there, I played with the kids in the pool, shared the history of our surroundings, encouraged them to engage in new activities, and dedicated time to reading with them. Yet, despite being the architect of this vacation, I was nearly absent from the photos.
When I brought up my concerns to my husband, he didn’t make excuses or defend himself. Instead, he promised to make a conscious effort to capture our family moments during this trip.
A Change in Perspective
And he kept his word. Throughout our vacation, I noticed him focusing on special moments. He would often say, “This is a perfect mom moment,” before rushing to grab his camera. One time, it was when I was in my swimsuit, giving our son a peanut-butter-and-jelly lesson in the kitchen. I let him snap the pic.
Other times, I’d see him out of the corner of my eye capturing us, like when I was lying on the beach with the kids digging in the sand. Upon returning home and downloading the photos, I was pleasantly surprised by how many cherished moments he had captured, many of which have become some of my favorite images with my children.
I learned that I can’t simply expect someone else to take those photos. I need to actively ask my husband to take them. It’s also about embracing who I am in this moment, feeling comfortable in my own skin—whether in shorts or a swimsuit—enough to want to be photographed. When I view those pictures later, I strive to focus less on my insecurities, like the size of my arms in a sleeveless top or how my hair looked. What truly matters is the bond I share with my kids, as these photos will serve as reminders of our vacations and of the mom I was to them.
Being Present in Family Memories
I’m finally part of our family vacation photos. Being included in them confirms that the woman who poured her heart into making these trips happen was truly present. She wasn’t just there to cook, clean, or pack. She was there, engaged and loving her family—exactly how I want my kids to remember our travels together.
This article was originally published on Aug. 5, 2017.
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Summary
The importance of capturing family memories cannot be overstated, especially for mothers who often find themselves behind the camera. By encouraging partners to take photos and embracing their own image, moms can create lasting memories that reflect their role within the family. It’s essential to be present in these moments, as they become cherished remembrances for children in the future.
Keyphrase
Family vacation photos
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