A few years back, I glanced out the back window to spot my then-5-year-old, Lucas, perched high up in a 20-foot tree in our yard. At first, I struggled to comprehend the scene—his small figure seemed so out of place yet remarkably composed among the branches. I called out to him, “Stay smart up there!” and snapped a photo, suppressing my worries about a potential trip to the emergency room. Thankfully, he was just fine and continues to scale that tree with enthusiasm. My partner and I not only allow it but actively encourage his adventurous spirit.
For many parents, the mere idea of a 5-year-old climbing a tree unsupervised might induce panic. Some might label us as irresponsible or even negligent. I would firmly disagree with that assessment.
Statistics show that children today are safer than ever, yet some parents still struggle to relax about their kids’ activities. There are those who prefer a “Bubble Wrap” approach to parenting, while others embrace a more daring “Let Them Bleed” philosophy. But what happens when we hover excessively over our children? We create anxious kids who struggle to handle fear, anger, and failure. Our fears about their capabilities inadvertently communicate that we don’t trust them.
When we promote risky play and help our children face their fears, we teach them how to navigate dangers and take responsible risks. We show them through both words and actions that we believe in their abilities. This isn’t merely a parental opinion; research backs it up. Experts advocate for the emotion regulation theory of play, which indicates that children develop emotional regulation through play experiences.
Through rough-and-tumble activities, children learn to manage anger, and engaging in risky play exposes them to controlled amounts of fear, allowing them to practice staying calm and adaptive. Psychologists assert that children learn they can face their fears and emerge unscathed—an invaluable life skill.
With the decline in opportunities for free, unsupervised play over the past 60 years, experts have noted a troubling increase in childhood mental health issues. Coincidence? They don’t think so. The greatest danger for our kids is not the tall trees they climb or the roughhousing they engage in; it’s us, their parents.
Matt Green, a child development specialist, highlights that the focus on cultivating a perfect child with numerous structured activities often detracts from essential soft skills like problem-solving, teamwork, and forming genuine relationships through peer play. Ironically, organized sports—often promoted by adults—result in the highest injury rates among children. According to the CDC, over 3.5 million children under 14 receive medical treatment for sports injuries annually, largely due to the competitive nature pushed by adults.
Instead of dictating how our kids should play, we should spark their curiosity. Questions like “Have you tried this?” or “Can you reach the top another way?” nurture their independence and encourage thoughtful risk-taking.
So, let’s take a step back. Allow your kids to walk to school with their friends, turn a blind eye when they climb that tree, and resist the urge to shout “be careful” or “not so high.” Encourage them to go further, higher, and tackle those challenges you fear they might not conquer—even if it means you’re holding your breath in worry.
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Summary
In today’s world, encouraging children to engage in risky play, such as climbing trees, is essential for their emotional and psychological development. While some parents may feel compelled to keep their children in a bubble, allowing them to explore and face manageable risks fosters resilience and confidence. By stepping back and promoting independence, we can help our children learn to navigate challenges and develop important life skills.
Keyphrase: Encouraging Risky Play
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