“Is it here yet?” my 7-year-old son, Leo, has asked this a dozen times over the last couple of days. He’s eagerly awaiting the arrival of a very important package: his beloved Blankie (yes, it deserves a capital B). Leo accidentally left this tattered, slightly smelly piece of fabric at his grandma’s house, and he’s been counting down the moments until it comes back home. Bedtime has turned into a real challenge since he struggles to drift off without it.
Both of my kids have their own Blankies, and I can hardly remember the nights they’ve gone without them. My eldest, Oliver, clung to his until he was nearly 10 years old, using it as a source of comfort whenever he felt anxious, tired, or sad. He would rub the fabric against his nose while sucking his thumb, resembling a little Linus from the Peanuts comic strip.
While Leo doesn’t suck his thumb, his attachment to Blankie is equally strong, and I have no intention of rushing him to part with it. Some parents feel the pressure to encourage their children to let go of these comforting items, often to avoid the hassle of keeping track of them. I get it—I’ve spent hours scouring the house for a misplaced Blankie, even digging through the trash (yes, really).
However, contrary to common belief, these security objects aren’t signs of weakness; instead, they can foster independence. Studies have shown that children with comfort items, like Blankies or stuffed animals, tend to be less shy and more focused. As Anna Walters noted in an article, “Their lovey objects are like the first training wheels for telling themselves ‘you’re all right.’” With these objects, kids feel secure enough to take risks and grow, which is crucial for their development.
These transitional items also ease separation anxiety and help children navigate new environments. Parents often feel the need to apologize for their child’s attachment to a security object, but experts agree that allowing children to hold on to their Blankies until they’re ready to let go is one of the best parenting choices we can make. Colleen Goddard, an early childhood educator, mentioned in Psychology Today that removing these objects can actually increase anxiety in children.
It’s essential to recognize that we all have our own security objects, whether we realize it or not. For adults, these might be a phone, a wedding ring, or even a cherished photo. As therapist Mark Brenner points out, these items can anchor us to comforting memories and feelings of connection. Without them, we can feel lost in a chaotic world.
Interestingly, security blankets not only help bridge the gap between familiar and unfamiliar settings but also promote the development of a child’s sense of self—something I’m still navigating as an adult.
When Leo’s Blankie finally arrived, all was right in his world once again. As for Oliver, he did eventually stop using his Blankie just before turning 10. It now rests at the back of my nightstand drawer, a reminder of those cozy nights and the comfort it once provided. Even if he no longer needs it, I still find solace in its presence. And that’s perfectly okay.
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In summary, allowing your child to hold on to their comfort object can be a vital part of their emotional development. Rather than rushing them to let go, it’s more beneficial to support them in their own time, fostering independence and security in the process.
Keyphrase: Comfort Objects for Children
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