Back in the early 2000s, before I had kids, I was quite the fashionista. But then my adorable little ones arrived, and suddenly, all my clothes were adorned with random food stains and other unmentionables. I turned into a walking napkin, so splurging on trendy outfits seemed pointless. My daily look evolved to “Wow, She’s Clearly Given Up.” But not anymore! Now that my kids are older and don’t make a mess of me as much, I’ve decided it’s finally time to shop again. Hello, “Wow, She’s Not in Yoga Pants for Once!”
So, I started updating my wardrobe with a few trendy pieces. One style that caught my attention was the infamous cold-shoulder top. A quick internet search or stroll through any store will confirm that this season is all about exposing those shoulders.
Do you have shoulders? Fantastic! If you don’t, I hate to break it to you, but fashion might be a challenge. For the rest of us, let me ask: Are your shoulders warm? Oh no, they need to be cold! Cold shoulders are all the rage right now! Yes, it’s a bit perplexing.
The cold shoulder style, which includes off-the-shoulder and cut-out tops at the shoulder, is everywhere. Last year, it surged back into the spotlight like it had received an official decree to bare those shoulders. You can spot it online, in every shop, and on friends, not to mention seeing celebrities flaunting it. My warm, covered shoulders felt like a fashion faux pas, so I jumped on the bandwagon and purchased several cold-shoulder tops, of course, waiting for them to go on sale.
There’s a lot to love about the look; it’s romantic and a little flirty, and I happen to like my shoulders because, so far, they’re free from cellulite. Plus, many of these tops come with flowy sleeves, which is a relief since I’m not a fan of my upper arms. Yay for sleeves!
However, let me tell you about the downsides. Most of these tops require a strapless bra, and strapless bras and I are not on good terms. With my, uh, curvy assets, I usually rely on bras that offer heavy-duty support—think straps as wide as a BabyBjörn. So, you can imagine my struggle. On my first outing in one of those tops, I found myself adjusting my bra straps constantly, resulting in a rather unfortunate situation by the end of the night—my girls were practically at my waist. How alluring!
Then there’s the issue of these tops refusing to stay put when you move your arms. Whether you’re waving at a family event or reaching for your secret stash of snacks, raising your arms in an off-the-shoulder shirt can lead to a wardrobe malfunction, exposing all sorts of bits you’d rather keep hidden. What a fashion disaster!
And let’s not even get started on the styles with just shoulder cutouts or spaghetti straps that barely cover anything. I could just take scissors to an old T-shirt for that look! Besides, some of these designs look like they were attacked by a bird of prey—what a hot mess!
Honestly, I’m just trying to look stylish. Has the cold-shoulder trend jumped the shark? Will we end up wearing shoulder-less sweaters next season? I’m all for comfort, but come on! Just give me a heads-up when bleach-stained pajama tops become fashionable again because I’m rocking those right now.
In summary, while the cold-shoulder trend may seem fun and flirty, it comes with its fair share of challenges. From the struggles with strapless bras to the constant adjusting of tops, it might not be as practical as it appears.
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