By: Samantha Greene
When my daughter was just four, she was already diving into books, mastering multiplication, and even grasping fractions. Living in New York City, where the competition for gifted programs is fierce, I contemplated having her tested for the local program. Many families invest thousands in tutoring to prepare their children for these exams, but I felt a different path was right for us.
I chose not to immerse her in that competitive environment. I believed that her natural abilities would shine through on the test, or we could simply enroll her in the neighborhood kindergarten and move on. Surprisingly, she aced the exam, qualifying for some of the most prestigious gifted programs in the city.
What followed was a whirlwind of school tours, phone calls, and applications. However, I found the entire process unsettling. The atmosphere felt elitist and excessively competitive, with young children burdened by overwhelming homework. I worried about her losing the chance to simply enjoy childhood—climbing trees and playing with friends. She was already a voracious reader, exploring science and math on her own. When would she have time to unwind and explore her passions?
During discussions about her options, my daughter expressed a strong preference for the local kindergarten, where her pre-K pals would also attend. This school lacked a gifted program but boasted an open-minded principal, engaged parents, small class sizes, and manageable homework loads. We decided to follow her lead, trusting our instincts and her desires.
Not everyone understood our choice. Why bypass the most academically demanding options for such a bright child? Shouldn’t we strive for the best to fuel their creativity? But now, as my daughter navigates fourth grade, it’s clear we made the right decision. The “less is more” philosophy has proven immensely beneficial. She remains gifted, happy, and engaged in her learning.
While some gifted kids thrive on extra challenges, for her, school is primarily about social interaction and mastering routines. Her teachers provide additional work when she completes assignments early, and she has ample opportunity to delve into her interests after school.
My daughter prefers to explore her passions independently. She’s learned computer coding through online tutorials, impressing her coding teacher with her skills. She’s also taken up piano, teaching herself via YouTube. As an avid reader, she recently tested at an adult reading level.
I don’t claim to have all the answers for parenting a gifted child, but I recently came across an enlightening article in The New York Times titled “How to Raise a Creative Child. Step One: Back Off.” It reinforced my hands-off approach. The author, Adam Grant, cites research revealing that the most innovative thinkers didn’t have parents who pressured them or hovered over their learning. Instead, these parents allowed their children to follow their interests and provided support when needed.
For instance, a study Grant references shows that the most creative children came from families with minimal rules. On average, these families imposed only one rule, unlike the six rules typical of families with less creative kids. Grant also highlights psychologist Benjamin Bloom’s findings on successful artists and scientists, noting that their parents didn’t push them to be superstars but responded to their intrinsic motivations.
I’m not suggesting we completely abandon guidance or structure. However, it’s essential to recognize the value in stepping back and allowing our kids to take charge of their passions. Whether we’re raising future innovators, athletes, or simply well-rounded individuals, giving them space to develop their unique gifts is crucial.
If we truly want our children to shine, we must step out of the limelight and allow them to explore their potential on their own terms. For further reading on this topic, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation, which may provide more insights into family planning and home insemination.
In conclusion, fostering creativity in our children may require us to relinquish some control, allowing them the freedom to discover their own paths.
Keyphrase: nurturing creative independent thinkers
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