A child pointing, staring, or whispering when meeting someone who looks different may seem innocent, but it can be profoundly hurtful.
“Today was tough,” shares Emily Thompson, a nurse from Arizona and mother of six, four of whom are adopted and have special needs. In a poignant Facebook post, she recounts a recent visit to a new church with her 9-year-old son, Max. Upon entering the kids’ area, silence enveloped the room, filled with curious glances and pointing fingers.
“I know he looks different, but today was hard,” she reflects. “I stood at the door and watched each child stare wide-eyed at my son.” Max has a craniofacial condition and is missing an ear. Even though both Emily and Max are aware of his difference, it doesn’t lessen the pain.
As she prepared to address the kids about embracing differences, Emily noticed Max retreating to the back, hiding his face in his arms. “You can’t hide in plain sight,” she said, her heart sinking as she walked back to comfort him. When asked if he wanted to leave, he nodded, and they quickly exited.
During the service, as Emily held Max close, he drew “Max loves Mom” on her palm. “Tears filled my eyes. My wonderful son deserves more than stares and pointing,” she expressed. Initially, her reaction was one of anger, a natural response for any mom. “I want to say it doesn’t upset me because they are just kids, but my first feeling is protective anger,” Emily told a parenting blog.
She also touched on a crucial aspect of parenting: as children grow, they become more aware of their surroundings, often noticing things that parents might wish to shield them from. “It hit me that Max is now nine, and I can’t always protect him,” she said.
While Emily usually steps in to teach kids about diversity, that day, her focus was on comforting her son. Both she and her husband, who have experience in education, believe teaching empathy goes beyond the classroom. “Children may stare, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Indifference can be just as harmful as bullying,” she emphasized.
They also have a child with spina bifida who uses a wheelchair and another who has faced a traumatic brain injury. Their family is in the process of adopting a 2-year-old with limb differences. Emily has a heartfelt request for other parents: help your kids understand differences.
“Show them that many people look different and explain that it’s not okay to stare or point,” she advises. You can even use this story as a conversation starter. “Teach them that my son is just like yours on the inside. He loves trucks and playing in the dirt,” she added. “He doesn’t need reminders of his differences; he lives with them every day.”
Emily doesn’t hold anger toward the kids who stared; she believes they simply haven’t been taught about diversity. “It’s our responsibility to educate. Show them images of people from all walks of life, with various abilities and appearances. Remind them that true beauty comes from the heart, not the eyes,” she urged.
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In summary, Emily Thompson’s heartfelt post serves as a reminder for parents to engage their children in conversations about differences, fostering empathy and understanding in a world that often lacks it.
Keyphrase: parenting conversations about differences
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