One day, my 7-year-old son proudly presented me with a photo he had snapped of me when I was blissfully unaware. The image was fuzzy and overexposed, highlighting everything I dislike about my appearance: the double chin, the wrinkles, the unflattering angle of my profile, and a coffee stain that seems to be my fashion constant.
To be honest, my first instinct was to delete it when he wasn’t looking. That’s the dilemma of our digital age—smartphones and filters allow us to erase anything that doesn’t fit our idea of “perfection.” While this can sometimes be beneficial, it also causes us to lose a piece of our authentic selves.
However, the more I examined that candid shot, the more I began to appreciate it. It’s one of the few unfiltered images of me. Typically, I’m the one behind the camera, and when I’m in front of the lens, it’s usually for posed family photos during holidays or dressy outings.
Those pictures are special, but this one? It holds a different kind of significance. It captures how my children perceive me. They see my less-than-flattering angles when I cook dinner in the kitchen. They notice my double chin from their spot next to me while we read together at bedtime. They recognize the wrinkles when I lean in to give them a kiss or when we’re gathered around the dinner table. They observe the coffee stains on my shirt and the silly faces I make without even realizing it. Yet, none of these imperfections seem to bother them.
As a mother of boys, I thought I was shielded from the complexities of body image issues that mothers of daughters face. We, the Gen X parents, are often vocal about challenging the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in the media. There are countless campaigns aimed at promoting self-esteem among girls, and viral posts encouraging us to embrace our flaws and show our daughters how to do the same.
But what about our sons? We inadvertently send mixed messages when we critique our own appearances in front of them. No amount of ad campaigns or celebrity selfies without makeup will counteract the beauty myths that boys internalize if we, as their mothers, express discontent with how we look.
If I grimace at my own flaws, they will start to see those imperfections as the first things that define me—and others. I don’t want them to associate beauty with perfect skin or a size 0 body. Instead, I aspire for them to understand that true beauty stems from love—both giving and receiving.
So I took another look at the photo my son had taken. I inhaled deeply and tried to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. This is the me they know—the mom who helps with homework at the kitchen table, who tosses a football with them in the backyard, and who lovingly tucks them into bed each night.
This is the version of me they cherish.
It’s important for me, for them, and for all the girls they will encounter in life to recognize and love the version of me they see. I appreciate the laughter lines that come from joy, the weight gained from spontaneous ice cream runs, and the stains from playtime adventures. They reflect who I am and the mom I strive to be.
This is the me they love. This is the me I love.
In conclusion, embracing our true selves can positively influence how our children view body image, not just for themselves but for everyone around them.
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Keyphrase: Body Image and Self-Perception
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