I bumped into someone I hadn’t seen in years on Independence Day. The day was sweltering and sticky. My hair was plastered to my forehead, and my determined little boy was tucked inside my bright yellow double stroller, the strap uncomfortably tight against my arm.
Behind me, my eldest son was jogging alongside my husband. I was amidst a wonderful group from our church, spreading joy in our community by handing out thousands of popsicles during the parade.
My face was flushed from the heat and the effort of jogging while pushing nearly 100 pounds of weight and distributing popsicles with one hand while steering the stroller with the other. I offered this person a popsicle, beamed, and greeted them with a cheerful “Hello!” But as I turned to move on, I faintly heard them mutter, “She’s gained quite a bit of weight.”
Instantly, I felt heat rush to my face, my heart racing as if I were facing a physical threat. I was momentarily stunned, but I knew I needed to press on and stay with my group, even though I was dying to know if there was more to this remark about me.
For two days, I sat with those words. I didn’t share my feelings with anyone, not even my husband, because I felt embarrassed and ashamed. They were right, after all. Yes, they were correct. However, in that fleeting moment, they failed to see the whole me. They only focused on one aspect: my weight.
I wished I could explain everything they missed—everything they couldn’t possibly comprehend. I wanted to share the struggles I’ve overcome to be here, joyfully offering popsicles. I wanted them to know the times I nearly didn’t make it through, the numerous challenges I faced, and how I got back up time and again.
So yes, I have gained weight. It’s easy to come up with excuses for it. This is what prolonged insomnia can lead to. This is how it feels to watch your child endure unimaginable pain. This is what chronic stress and fear can do to a person. This is what someone looks like when they’ve been on the brink one too many times.
But that’s not the complete story.
The truth is, I’ve done this to myself. I’ve struggled and done my best, and this is where I am. I’ve fought hard, and when everything else failed—after I’ve prayed, run, written, read, cried, and screamed—food became my solace. Gaining this weight doesn’t diminish my worth. It doesn’t make me less interesting or important.
I wanted to tell them that just two weeks ago, I completed a 100-mile run for the third time. While some might downplay this because I’m not “fast,” I take pride in knowing the truth. It requires an endurance and determination I never knew I possessed to run non-stop for a day and a half. It’s a testament to my strength, both physically and mentally. Gaining weight doesn’t equate to being weak or unhealthy.
I wanted to express all of this and more. But as I reflected, I found myself questioning why it mattered. Why did I care what they thought? Why do we judge our own reflections based on casual remarks? Why do we let a single negative comment overshadow compliments?
This led me to a revelation: I need to be a better friend—to myself. The next time I catch my reflection, I won’t berate my appearance. If I can’t fit into my favorite jeans, I won’t criticize myself. I refuse to let hurtful comments take root within me. I will love myself as a friend would. If I wouldn’t say something unkind to a friend, I won’t say it to myself. I’ll acknowledge my efforts and recognize that I haven’t failed anyone—most importantly, myself.
I aim to treat myself with kindness, and I wish the same for you. I want you to recognize how incredible you are. Your worth isn’t determined by a number on a scale or what others think. What makes you beautiful is who you are. Imagine the transformation if we could see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us. That’s the hope, and that’s the goal.
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In summary, our worth transcends physical appearance. It’s essential to treat ourselves with kindness and recognize the strength we possess within. The love we give ourselves is what truly defines our beauty.
Keyphrase: self-worth beyond appearance
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