Partners Share Responsibilities—It’s Not a Favor
We’ve all heard the stories of partners who think watching their own children is “babysitting” or who shy away from household tasks because they believe it’s “women’s work.” While men can be wonderful, capable individuals, some (and yes, some women too) seem unwilling to share the burdens, both physical and mental, that come with a shared life.
Recently, Alex Thompson shared a thought-provoking message on social media, targeting those partners who feel entitled to be cared for without reciprocating the effort. He recounted a moment with a friend who said, “I’m going to clean up the kitchen and I’ll be back in a bit.” His friend responded with a puzzled look, saying, “I’m glad you help your wife, but I don’t because I want recognition. Last week I cleaned the garage and got no appreciation.” Alex immediately countered, “Actually, my wife doesn’t need help; she needs an equal partner.”
He went on to explain that when he pitches in around the house, he’s not “helping” his wife; he’s simply doing his part. “I don’t help my wife with the laundry because I live here too, and I have clothes that need washing. I don’t help with cooking because I also want to eat. I don’t help clean the dishes because I use them as well. And I certainly don’t help with the kids—they’re my kids too, and being a dad is part of my role.”
Thank you for that insight, Alex! I’m fortunate to have a partner who willingly tackles whatever needs to be done. Sometimes he takes on more, and other times I do. It’s not a competition, nor are we keeping score. We’re parents with shared responsibilities, and yet I still hear people say how “lucky” I am for all he does, despite my full-time job and equal participation in our family life. Why is there this expectation placed on women?
His friend’s expectation for praise is equally bewildering. Being an adult means managing all the responsibilities that come with adulthood. While it would be nice to have confetti rain down every time we sweep the floor, it’s probably best not to hold our breath for that.
“If you’ve been conditioned to think that someone else should do all the work without lifting a finger, then maybe it’s time to reconsider,” Alex advises. “Act like a true partner, not just a guest who comes home to eat, sleep, and fulfill personal needs. Make yourself at home.”
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In summary, partners should approach household responsibilities as shared duties rather than one partner “helping” the other. Both should contribute equally and recognize their roles as equals in the relationship.
Keyphrase: partners share responsibilities
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