When Leo was born, he came out crying—loudly. After nursing nonstop, he would scream again, and his wails were so intense that the nurses felt compelled to check on us. We later joked that if pediatric nurses were concerned about his volume, it must be serious. We tried all the tricks in the book, but ultimately, we caved to what we had vowed not to do: we gave him a pacifier. It was a decision that went against conventional advice about nipple confusion, breastfeeding disruption, and dental health. However, as the CDC points out, nearly 58.7% of American infants use pacifiers.
The moment we handed him that paci, he sucked on it blissfully and drifted off to sleep. That’s when I realized that some kids, like Leo, have an oral fixation and need to suck. Initially, we used the standard hospital binkies—those green and blue ones that made him resemble a catfish. They would frequently drop out, prompting more screaming.
We experimented with orthodontic pacifiers, which claimed to protect against future dental issues, but Leo was adamant about his preference for the Binkie-Brand Binkie, the most elusive and expensive option out there. It seems every child has a go-to paci, often the hardest to find. Nevertheless, we managed to stockpile them.
So, Leo became our paci kid. Initially, I was taken aback, but soon I felt relieved. Not because pacifiers are adorable, but because they fulfilled Leo’s need to suck. When I say he needed to suck, I mean that if he wasn’t nursing, he had a pacifier in his mouth. He was truly attached. As orthodontist Kevin O’Brien notes, “Pacifier or non-nutritive sucking is common amongst young children and varies from 60–80%.” I was far from alone in this.
The pacifier industry thrives for a reason—paci keepers, wipes, and a plethora of options are readily available at your local store. In every photo of Leo, you can spot the unmistakable binkie.
One notable benefit of using pacifiers is that studies, like one published in Scientific American, indicate that they can reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) during sleep by 90%. This is significant—maybe because babies often drop their pacifiers, prompting parents to come to the rescue in a half-asleep daze.
Additionally, a paci kid is less likely to develop a finger-sucking habit. I know this from experience; my well-meaning mother took away my paci when I was 10 months old, and I turned to sucking my two middle fingers for years. This resulted in braces and a permanent retainer, a situation I desperately wanted to avoid for Leo. You can take a paci away, but you can’t just remove a child’s fingers.
Our pacifier journey lasted several years. The New York Times mentions that prolonged pacifier use can have adverse effects on oral cavity structures. Leo’s baby teeth may not be perfect, but his adult teeth are shaping up just fine at age 7, three years after he ditched the pacifier. Dr. Abhinav Sinha also points out that increased pacifier use can be linked to more ear infections and speech delays. Sure, Leo had to maneuver around his binkie to talk, making for some amusing, if disconcerting, conversations at age 3. But we brushed off the concerns from older relatives. We trusted Leo to give up his paci in his own time.
Eventually, we began leaving it in the car during outings, then at home. The last time he used it in public was at church, where it kept him quiet. Eventually, we decided to try a night without it. There was a bit of resistance, but he managed, and just like that, at 4 years old, Leo was no longer the paci kid.
Some may think that’s late to wean, but according to the American Dental Association and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, parents should let kids decide to stop after four years, not enforce it at that age. Despite the naysayers, we were actually right on track.
In a Healthline article, dentist Misee Harris, D.M.D., reassures parents that thumb- and pacifier-sucking habits usually only become problematic with prolonged use. So, if your child is happily sucking on a pacifier, there’s no need to panic. Parenting coach Barbara Desmarais echoes this sentiment, stating that kids typically relinquish these habits when they’re ready. This was certainly true for us—Leo no longer sucks a binkie, his fingers, or anything else now, unlike my younger self who was always sneaking in a finger-suck.
So if you find your toddler chatting away with a pacifier in their mouth, keep calm. Gently encourage them toward weaning, but let them lead the way. And for those who are quick to judge, remember that we’re just parents trying to meet our child’s needs. Everyone is happy, and the only casualty is perhaps our wallets, which have shelled out for countless pacifiers. So, let’s support each other instead of casting judgment.
In Summary
My experience with Leo as ‘the paci kid’ taught me that sometimes, indulging in a child’s needs can be beneficial, and it ultimately worked out just fine.
Keyphrase: pacifier use in children
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