Taking a break from the daily grind of motherhood does wonders for my parenting. Yes, you heard it right — the more I indulge in carefree nights out dancing with my friends, far away from my little ones, the better I become as a mom. After a weekend escape, I return home feeling refreshed and far more patient. My demeanor transforms; it’s as if I’ve become a serene version of Mary Poppins, ready to handle my kids’ demands with grace and a calm tone.
Typically, when my kids make outlandish requests, I find myself explaining why we can’t do that, almost like I’m presenting a legal case to myself. This often leads to confusion and endless debates, such as:
- “But last time I wore a short-sleeved shirt when it was chilly. Why not today?”
Answer: Because I made a mistake that day. - “Why does Emma get dessert at school and at home? That’s not fair to me!”
Answer: There are kids starving, and I don’t mean just the ones in yoga pants living on the Upper East Side. Enough about desserts.
But after a rejuvenating getaway in Costa Rica, my responses shift to something like: “Sweetheart, life isn’t always equitable. Now, how about we sing a song together?”
Perhaps my newfound zen comes from finally catching up on sleep after a couple of nights free from early morning wake-up calls, or maybe it’s just the remnants of last night’s fun. But honestly, I believe it’s more profound. When I first started these annual retreats — which have occasionally turned into biannual events — we gave them playful names like “Moms Gone Wild” or “Escape to Paradise.” Now, we don’t even bother with euphemisms. It’s a tradition; it’s essential, like a holiday.
I’ve known friends whose partners have tried to dissuade them from taking these trips, calling them with passive-aggressive updates about the kids, making their absence feel guilt-laden. Or they’ll hold it over them once they return, making it hard to justify future getaways. I used to argue about the importance of these trips, reminding my fellow mom friends that it’s beneficial for everyone — sometimes, oblivious dads need a nudge to experience the daily challenges of parenting.
And guess what? The kids and the husbands seem to prosper during these breaks. Just look at this: