On the first morning of our much-anticipated family vacation—our first in three years—I woke up buzzing with excitement. I was eager for my daughter Lily, then 3 years old, to experience the ocean for the very first time. Hours later, our family of six, along with 14 bags of beach gear, arrived at the beach parking lot, ready to unload. Overflowing with anticipation, I turned to capture Lily’s first glimpse of the vast ocean—only to find her joyfully splashing in a puddle in the parking lot, wearing her bathing suit and completely in her element.
“Lily,” I called out, “Let’s go see the ocean!”
“Nooooo!” she replied without even glancing my way.
“But Lily, it’s the ocean! You’ve never seen it before! It’s breathtaking!”
“MOMMY. I AM IN THE PUDDLE RIGHT NOW. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO SEE THE OCEAN.”
Eventually—when she was ready—we clumsily made our way to the shoreline. It took us nearly 45 minutes to unpack tents, chairs, blankets, toys, snacks, and sunscreen for our little crew. By the time we had coated everyone with a thick layer of SPF 8000, I realized we had merely a 10-minute window of actual beach time before the baby would start crying, prompting us to retreat to our overpriced rental.
Determined to make the most of those fleeting minutes, I sent my husband and the older kids to the water while I stayed under the beach umbrella, trying to nurse the baby and keep him out of the sun, all while dodging sand and other families’ vacation photos.
As I sat there, I overheard a group of young women nearby—barely in their twenties—chatting about summer jobs and life choices. One girl mentioned babysitting for a family.
“They pay me well, but it’s hard work. I’m so tired when I get home,” she said.
“I bet,” her friend replied. “What do you have to do?”
“I make the food, feed them, then clean up. I take them to the park and even to the grocery store once.”
“Wow, it’s like you’re their mom.”
“I know, right? I feel like I became a mom of two. It’s exhausting.” She took a long sip of her beer. “Maybe I’ll ask for a raise.”
I couldn’t help but snicker, causing my baby to unlatch, and I inadvertently flashed several families on the beach. I glanced over at this girl, who looked stunning in a tiny bikini, carefree and relaxed, with friends lounging around her while she sipped her beer at 11 a.m. How could she not be relaxed? Her life was full of possibilities, and she had the luxury of leisurely conversations about her dreams as if nothing else mattered.
Yes, I felt a twinge of envy. I was once like her, spending carefree mornings contemplating my future. Now, I was caught up in the whirlwind of motherhood, endlessly tackling mundane tasks, adjusting my expectations so that merely surviving felt like a victory. There were days when I barely lifted my head from the routine, forgetting to breathe. Just like Lily, I was so immersed in the parenting puddle that I no longer saw the ocean of opportunities.
Despite the urge to approach that girl and remind her to soak up every moment before life shifts, I realized my time was running out. So, after hauling the bags back to the car, I buckled in the little ones and ran over to Lily’s puddle. I took a leap and jumped right in.
Guess what? Lily was absolutely right. It was fantastic in there.
This article was originally published on June 14, 2017.
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Summary:
This article reflects on a mother’s experience during a family beach vacation where she learns to appreciate the present through her toddler’s perspective. Amidst the chaos of family life, she contrasts her responsibilities with the carefree nature of youth, ultimately discovering joy in the moment.
Keyphrase: Embracing the Present Through Parenting
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