Motherhood struck me like a ton of bricks—a whirlwind of love, joy, and an overwhelming challenge that I wouldn’t trade for anything. From the start, my little one was a high-needs baby, leaving no room for the blissful “sleepy newborn” phase that many parents brag about. Instead, we were thrown straight into the deep end, dealing with a baby who demanded our attention with an intensity that was almost suffocating.
We were naive (okay, maybe a bit delusional). We understood that bringing a baby into our lives would be a monumental shift, that newborns needed constant care, and that sleep deprivation was part of the package. Yet, in our pre-baby dreams, we believed all infants slept soundly in their cribs and would only wake up for food or when they were tired. We thought that if we responded to our baby’s cries promptly, he’d rarely fuss. Spoiler alert: we were very wrong.
In the beginning, we tried to accept our reality, hoping things would settle down soon. But when they didn’t, doubts began to creep in, fueled by unsolicited advice from all sides. We started to resist our baby’s needs, battling against sleep associations, distinguishing wants from needs, and feeling overwhelmed by his constant demands.
Desperation took over as we wished to “fix” our baby, so we could reclaim a sense of normalcy. We were fighting an uphill battle against the tide. Fortunately, after six long months of struggle, I finally surrendered, and it transformed my entire approach to motherhood.
I had often heard that it was perfectly fine to let some things go when caring for a newborn. However, I had set my own rigid timelines and conditions for when it would be acceptable. Sure, I acknowledged I might need assistance during the postpartum period, but I thought I should be back on top of things soon after—except when my baby was sick, of course. This unrealistic expectation weighed heavily on my sense of self, my mood, and my confidence, ultimately straining my relationship with my baby. After all, if only he weren’t so demanding, I could’ve tackled that laundry pile.
Accepting my need to surrender meant realizing that the permission to let things slide could last as long as necessary until I found my footing again. Fast forward to my second baby arriving just 20 months after the first. Juggling two high-needs children while pregnant left me feeling like I was drowning. Only now—three years later—am I starting to feel like I can breathe again. The fog is lifting, and I’m slowly reclaiming my sense of normalcy without the desperate need for rest that once consumed me.
Not everything fell by the wayside; I made sure to tend to the essentials. We filled our days with fulfillment, but I learned to prioritize rest over chores and outings whenever I needed it. And honestly, I don’t feel guilty or lazy for doing so. While some tasks may have slipped, my priority has remained crystal clear: raising my children. I’ve devoted myself to nurturing them, meeting their needs, and ensuring my well-being along the way.
I’m nurturing whole humans, shaping their tiny brains with love and attention. The chores can wait—my energy is best spent where it matters most. If society could truly grasp the immense value of simply being present for our children, perhaps we’d stop striving to escape those precious moments.
Some days may feel like an uphill battle with zero accomplishments, but being everything to your baby is more than enough. Every second spent comforting, nursing, and simply being there for your child holds infinite value—both for them and for the world around you. Time invested in your baby is never wasted.
So, give yourself permission to let those other responsibilities slide for as long as it takes to regain your balance without sacrificing your peace, rest, or your baby’s needs. You’re doing an incredible job, mama.
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Summary:
Embracing motherhood can be an overwhelming experience, especially when faced with a high-needs baby. The author shares her journey of coming to terms with the chaos of new parenthood and the importance of allowing oneself to let go of unrealistic expectations. By prioritizing rest and nurturing her children, she finds peace in the midst of the storm. Time spent with your baby is invaluable, and it’s essential to give yourself permission to focus on their needs without feeling guilty.
Keyphrase: Embracing the chaos of new motherhood
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