As a single mother, one of the most invaluable aspects of my life has been the community I’ve cultivated around me and my child—our village. When my son was little, I primarily connected with other stay-at-home moms at playgroups and local parks. While they were wonderful, I soon realized our journeys were quite different. They couldn’t fully grasp the challenges I faced on my own, and it left me feeling a bit resentful. They were happily married, while I was navigating the aftermath of a long-term relationship that had fizzled out. I recognized I needed friends who truly understood my experience as a single mom.
As my son grew, I found solace in spending time with long-time friends who had been with me through various life stages, both before and after becoming a mother. They understood my struggles and were always there to listen as I vented about the ridiculous antics of my ex or the sheer exhaustion that comes with parenting alone. They never judged me for bringing my son along to dinners, knowing he wasn’t comfortable being away from me for too long. It was a blessing to have that freedom to include him without feeling out of place, especially since it was my only way to step out of the house.
My best friend, who lives just a few minutes away, has kids the same age as mine. She was my closest friend even before I became a mom—always ready to lend an ear and validate my feelings. Although she couldn’t completely comprehend the intricacies of single motherhood, our connection remained strong, unlike some of my other mom friends. When she confided that she and her husband were considering separation, I felt a pang of sadness for her and her child. Yet, I couldn’t help but hope for a newfound friendship in single parenting. If her marital situation was changing, it seemed like we could support each other through the ups and downs of being single moms.
Now, our lives feel reminiscent of our younger days. Instead of binge-watching wedding shows, we find ourselves glued to episodes of Bubble Guppies. Having her nearby means we can escape the toddler chaos for a quick drink, a much-needed breather for both of us. Given how isolating solo parenting can be, having a friend to share those moments with has been incredibly comforting.
We’ve known each other’s ex-partners long enough that when they do something foolish, we become the unofficial “petty police.” Sure, it might seem immature, but we don’t mind. She’ll drop snarky comments on my ex’s social media, while I throw shade at hers when he’s around. It’s just how we support one another.
My friend has been nudging me to start dating again, despite my insistence that I’m not quite ready. Sharing a home with my parents and my son complicates things further. Meanwhile, she’s already dipped her toes back into the dating scene—classic her. I find myself living vicariously through her, especially when she flounders at flirting. I’m basically her Cyrano de Bergerac, and it’s been enjoyable to slip back into those roles we held long before parenthood.
I’ve also been there for her during the tougher moments. Divorce is no walk in the park, and sometimes she just needs a shoulder to cry on. I get it. When she’s overwhelmed, I offer to take care of her kids so she can recharge, tackle household chores, or even prepare for a job interview. She would do the same for me. Our friendship is invaluable, especially as we navigate the complexities of single parenting together.
I’m not glamorizing the single parent experience—it’s tough, often lonely, and isolating. Building a trustworthy community is essential for maintaining your sanity. I’ve been fortunate to find a few friends who truly understand my challenges. On Facebook, I’ve also discovered a fantastic support group where I’ve formed lasting connections. Sharing experiences with those who have walked a similar path is something you don’t realize you need until you have it. When you’re at your breaking point and need someone to remind you that you can make it through, it’s priceless.
The members of my tribe show up for me, offer unwavering support, and share in my joys and sorrows. They are the family I’ve chosen for myself, and I’m immensely grateful for their presence in my life. As I always say, “We single moms must stick together.” And we do.
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In summary, the journey of single motherhood is tough but made easier with a strong support network. Finding friends who truly understand your experiences is crucial for emotional well-being. Whether they are old friends or new connections, having a tribe to share both the challenges and joys of parenting can make all the difference.
Keyphrase: single mom support system
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