It’s taken quite a bit of therapy for me to arrive at this point in my life. Everyone always said that parenting comes without a manual, and guess what? They were absolutely correct. After three years in this parenting journey, I can honestly tell you that kids don’t need much guidance. They simply require food, affection, and naps.
But adults? They can be a different story altogether. If anyone needs a manual, it’s grown-ups. This realization is partly why I sought therapy in the first place—best decision I ever made, by the way. I’ve spent countless hours unpacking my emotions, trying to make sense of the people who have hurt or frustrated me in the past. I’ve learned to embrace my feelings and then let go of what doesn’t serve me.
Here’s the kicker: I’m pretty good at it. I can perform all sorts of mental acrobatics to understand someone’s viewpoint, ultimately leading to forgiveness. However, there’s one group of individuals I simply cannot comprehend: those who chose to ignore my children.
According to my therapist, this phenomenon is surprisingly common. I’ll never understand how these people can sleep at night.
I know I shouldn’t waste my energy on this, but I feel compelled to express my thoughts. So, to those who vanished from my life after I became a parent, I have to ask: What’s wrong with you?
Do you genuinely think you can claim to care about me for years—or even my entire life—and then just ghost me when I become a parent? Do you think I’ll believe that you ever truly loved me when my heart now resides with my kids, and you ignore their very existence?
If you didn’t want to be part of my life anymore, I could understand that. I’m not perfect; I have my quirks. I can be late, and my sense of humor can be a bit much. Yet, you stayed through all that. You were present during the ups and downs. Then, as soon as my first child arrived, you suddenly vanished. Why?
Honestly, it stung at first. I was eager to share my joy with you, to introduce you to this amazing little being I knew you would adore. “Look at what I created!”
But calls went unanswered, and visits never materialized. I’m not asking you to drop everything and create a scrapbook of my kids, but a little acknowledgment would have been nice. They are part of my life now, after all, and you supposedly cared about me.
I’m not hurt anymore. I’m done wallowing in self-pity because here’s the truth: If you’re too self-absorbed to recognize the joy these children bring, that’s on you.
And it’s a monumental loss.
Since you checked out just when our kids arrived, you’ve missed out on so much. My son’s laughter is like music to the ears. His hugs can fill your heart to the brim. He’s got a sharp sense of humor, a true comedian in the making.
And my daughter? She’s a whirlwind of energy, discovering the world with every little step she takes. The sound of her tiny feet pattering across the floor is pure magic to a weary soul. If you’re okay ignoring that, well, that’s just a little sad—for you.
By leaving when our children entered the picture, you exited at intermission, missing the best part of the show. I truly feel sorry for you because these kids are nothing short of extraordinary, with so much love to give.
Through a good amount of therapy, I’ve come to realize this: To the friends and family who ghosted when my children came into the world, if you don’t care enough to know the wonderful little people you’re missing out on, then you simply don’t deserve them.
I genuinely wish you well.
Because we’re going to thrive without you.
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Summary
This piece reflects on the emotional journey of a parent who feels abandoned by friends and family after having children. It emphasizes the joy that children bring and critiques those who choose to disengage during this pivotal life change. The author has found a sense of closure and is ready to move forward, wishing the absent individuals well while celebrating the incredible experiences of parenthood.
Keyphrase: Ghosting after becoming a parent
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