Growing up, my childhood was marked by constant relocations. By the time I reached ten, I had moved more times than I could count, with my longest stay being just over two years. My father’s job often meant uprooting our lives, and I became all too familiar with the phrase, “Kids, I got a promotion, and it’s time for a new adventure!” Unfortunately, this “adventure” frequently left me as the new kid in school, my belongings packed away in boxes for what felt like an eternity, and my social life turned upside down once again.
While I learned to make friends and adapt quickly, deep down, I yearned for stability—a place where I could store my belongings and not think about them for years, where I could attend school with the same classmates from kindergarten through graduation. I envied the families with nearby aunts, uncles, and grandparents who created a tapestry of support and connection just a few blocks away.
From an early age, I resolved that when I grew up, I would plant my own family tree, firmly rooted in one location. I wanted my children to have a childhood filled with memories in a home they could cherish forever. So, when I was in college and my father announced they were moving across the country with my two younger brothers, I made a difficult choice. I decided to stay behind and nurture the life I had started in my college town. Though my parents supported my decision, the guilt was ever-present. Nevertheless, I had met my future husband, and I was eager to establish the roots I had long desired.
Living far from family is no easy feat. The holidays can be a juggling act, always trying to please both sides, and it’s challenging to stay connected to the everyday happenings of your extended family. Sure, technology has made it easier with texting and video calls, but it can still feel isolating when you see photos online of gatherings you can’t attend due to distance. However, despite the challenges, there are some surprising upsides to having family spread out across the country.
1. No Unexpected Visits
I adore my family, but let’s face it: no one wants to be jolted awake by a surprise visit from parents before coffee. When your family lives far away, visits are planned, allowing for preparation. I can get their favorite snacks ready, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
2. Sweeter Reunions
The excitement in my kids when we prepare for our annual winter trip to see their grandparents is palpable. They start texting with their grandparents weeks in advance, and as the date approaches, we reminisce about past visits and plan new fun activities. These traditions make the time apart bearable.
3. Building Our Own Village
With both sets of grandparents living out of town, we quickly realized that if we were to navigate parenting challenges, we needed to lean on our local friends and neighbors. We’ve cultivated a strong community of friends who have become our second family, and our connections are deepened because we truly invest in those who are nearby.
4. Creating Our Unique Family Bond
Though we strive to be with family during holidays, there are times when we celebrate just the four of us. Those quiet moments, like ordering pizza on Easter or enjoying cereal under the Christmas tree, have helped us forge our own family traditions and strengthen our bond.
While being far from family comes with its own hurdles—like the hefty cost of plane tickets for four during the holidays and navigating medical emergencies—I’m grateful I chose to cultivate my own little family tree. It’s sturdy, and its branches extend beyond what I ever imagined.
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Summary
Living far from family can be challenging, but it also brings unexpected joys. While managing holiday logistics and staying connected can be tough, the planned visits, strong community ties, and unique family traditions can create a rich and fulfilling life.
Keyphrase: living far from family
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