Imagine this scenario: A man approaches a woman at a bar, where she’s happily chatting with her friends. He slides in, introduces himself, and offers her a drink. “I’m just here to enjoy time with my friends,” she clarifies, more than once. Yet he persists with his shallow questions, completely ignoring her icy glare and her friends’ eye rolls. Oblivious to her clear disinterest, he finally backs off only after she mentions she has a boyfriend. His reaction? Defensive, as if he’s been wronged.
This isn’t an isolated incident. Many women have used the “boyfriend excuse” to fend off unwanted attention. While some men do approach women respectfully, far too many exhibit a concerning level of entitlement—ignoring boundaries and dismissing refusals. This behavior can be disheartening and, at times, even frightening.
The Core Issue: Ownership and Entitlement
We witness this entitlement manifest in horrific ways: a man taking a woman’s life for rejecting his advances, another shooting his partner and her students simply because she chose to leave him. These extreme cases highlight a pervasive attitude: many men feel a sense of ownership over women’s bodies and choices.
Yet, the more common behaviors—those that may not escalate to violence—still reflect this troubling mindset. Society often communicates that men have rights to women, a belief that is subtly woven into our culture. It’s an implicit message found in everyday interactions, shaping our language, attitudes, and traditions.
Women are often viewed as property, reduced to mere transactions: daughters married off as if they were livestock. Women are classified as either virtuous or promiscuous, with their worth dictated by outdated norms. Most men don’t consciously see women this way, but the sentiment is woven into the very fabric of our society, passed down through generations like a defective gene.
Everyday Manifestations of Ownership Mentality
This ownership mentality seeps into countless interactions. It’s the man who tells a woman to smile as if her expression exists for his enjoyment. It’s the guy who feels entitled to comment on her appearance or catcall her on the street, reacting with anger if she doesn’t respond as expected.
It’s the pervasive judgment toward women who express themselves freely, whether through their language or lifestyle choices. The concept of being placed in the “friend zone” illustrates how some men feel entitled to something more simply because of their kindness. The anger directed at women with significant online presence is another symptom: men attempting to control or intimidate those who threaten their sense of superiority.
Women are often scrutinized for natural acts like breastfeeding, which society deems inappropriate, while their bodies are commodified in advertising. We are expected to fit into a narrow definition of desirability, constantly forced to adapt to the whims of male preference.
Our voices should be heard, yet we are often told to tone them down, to fit into a mold that pleases men. Our bodies are seen as commodities, our sexuality at the disposal of others. Male journalists express contempt towards ambitious women, as if their visibility is a threat to the status quo.
Breaking the Cycle
We are not here for you to define how we should act or look. We are not distractions for your sons, nor are we trophies for your ego. Our wholeness is not a threat to your existence.
So, let’s work together to dismantle this culture of entitlement. Help us stop the cycle—whether it’s the girl dress-coded for distracting boys or the one who hears “boys will be boys” in response to harassment. Our daughters should not have to learn to accept unwanted attention as normal.
Recognize the signs of ownership in all its forms. Help educate your children, co-workers, and peers. This subtle sense of entitlement fosters a culture where violence is permissible, allowing systemic and institutionalized attitudes to flourish.
We are not your property. We are not your excuses, your burdens, or your conquests. We are not your anything.
Further Resources
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Summary
This article addresses the pervasive issue of entitlement and ownership that many men feel over women’s bodies and choices. It discusses common scenarios where women are objectified and the societal norms that reinforce this behavior. The piece calls for a collective effort to challenge these attitudes and empower women, emphasizing that they are not possessions or distractions but individuals with autonomy.
Keyphrase: Women are not your property
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