On weekends and holidays, my children seem to be in a fierce competition with the early birds to see who can wake up first. The sun barely creeps above the horizon, and they’re already bouncing around as if they’ve been sleeping in sheets infused with caffeine. The concept of “sleeping in” is utterly foreign to them—unless it involves asking if they can lounge on the couch or in a makeshift tent instead of their beds.
Come school days, however, it’s a completely different story. That vibrant morning energy vanishes, replaced by the sight of them sprawled out like they’re in some kind of enchanted slumber, their faces buried in puddles of drool. At that moment, I brace myself for what I know will be one of the most stressful parts of my day: waking them up.
The challenge of rousing them is multi-faceted. First, early mornings are one of the few times my house is quiet and serene, cloaked in a soft hush. It feels wrong to disrupt that peaceful atmosphere—like blasting an air horn during a symphony or putting mustard on chocolate pudding. I’ve spent countless hours as a parent trying to keep them asleep, from tackling delivery people to prevent doorbells from ringing to contorting myself in bizarre positions just to sneak out of their rooms. So, intentionally waking them feels counterintuitive to years of conditioning.
I start off gently, opening the curtains and letting in a stream of sunlight, hoping they’ll wake up as cheerfully as those first rays. “Good morning!” I sing out, channeling my inner Mary Poppins. A gentle pat here, a soft stroke there, but all I get in return is the sound of silence. They’re like bed-bound boulders.
As my patience wears thin, I crank up the volume. My gentle nudges become firmer pokes, and I briskly announce, “Hey, time to rise and shine!” If I’m lucky, I might get a muffled groan in return. More often than not, they simply pull the covers over their heads as if that’ll make me disappear. This only escalates my frustration, leading me to unleash my ‘mean-mom voice’—a mix of drill sergeant and villain: “GET! OUT! OF BED!”
When they finally crack their eyes open, we’re all glaring at each other, and I can’t help but wonder if crashing through their bedroom wall like the Kool-Aid Man would be frowned upon.
To make matters worse, it’s a school morning, which puts me under pressure to stick to a timeline. If I don’t manage to get them up, dressed, and fed in time, it sets off a chain reaction of chaotic events—like having to throw on a bra before the dreaded drop-off line. This fear fuels my determination to get them out of bed, no matter what.
So, this is my routine five mornings a week, an exhausting cycle of coaxing them into the day. They may be difficult to wake up, but once they come to their senses, they transform into decent little humans. Once my blood pressure returns to normal, we can smoothly transition into the rest of our morning routine—well, until they start griping about breakfast choices. But at least they’re dressed and out of bed by then!
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In summary, waking kids up for school is a daily battle that tests my patience and determination, but once they’re up, we can navigate the morning chaos together.
Keyphrase: waking kids up for school
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