9 Regular Habits That Help Me Avoid Mom Judgment

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I certainly don’t set out to be seen as a negligent mother each morning. It’s not like I wake up thinking, “How can I ruin my kids today?” But after spending time online, I’ve become quite familiar with the so-called “mommy wars.” The narrative seems to be that if I don’t adhere to every parenting guideline, it somehow reflects a lack of love for my children. In fact, there are those who might say I don’t deserve to be a parent at all—like I’m actively trying to harm them.

But let’s be clear, this isn’t about genuine harm; it’s about the everyday things that moms do, which can lead to judgment from others. I sometimes fear that actual people—rather than just the faceless critics online—will scrutinize my choices. I should embrace my parenting style without concern, but I can’t help but feel those judgmental glances. Perhaps they’re imagined, but they feel very real.

1. Your Opinion on My Kids’ Faces

You might notice that my children have remnants of peanut butter or chocolate milk smeared around their mouths. I had every intention of cleaning them up, but life happened: shoes went missing, my toddler let the dogs out, and suddenly, cleaning their faces slipped my mind. By the time I remembered, we were already in the parking lot at Target, and wipes were nowhere in sight. Yes, they look a bit messy, but I assure you, they are well-loved.

2. Your Thoughts on Their Energy in Target

If you don’t have kids, you might forget how they behave when excitement takes over. My little ones run around, exploring their surroundings, especially when they spot something thrilling. Add in a toddler tantrum over a toy he can’t have, and I find myself under the scrutiny of disapproving stares. Sure, I might get a few offers for help, but honestly, I can handle the Target chaos; it’s just part of our day.

3. Your Judgment of Their Bathroom Independence

My 7-year-old is perfectly capable of looking after his younger brother during bathroom breaks. Unfortunately, some places feel the need to remind us to keep our children close at all times. After an encounter at a local shop and a little questioning from my son, I thought, “Oh no, what have I done?”

4. Your Reaction to Leaving Them in the Car for a Moment

When I need to pay for gas, I often leave the kids strapped in the car for a minute or two. I lock the doors, ensure the car is cool, and keep them in sight through the window. It’s a brief moment, but I can’t help but worry about onlookers judging me for leaving them alone, even if it’s perfectly legal in my state, as long as the car isn’t running.

5. Your Opinions on Their Fashion Choices

My youngest adores a Zootopia shirt that happens to have puffy sleeves—yes, it’s from the girls’ section. My middle child’s tight-fitting purple superhero shirt, paired with plaid pants and a fedora, might not be a fashion win, but he loves it. You might assume he dressed himself, but the truth is, he didn’t. Go ahead and judge; it doesn’t bother me.

6. Your Concern Over My Toddler’s Banged-Up Face

Accidents happen. My youngest has a knack for getting bumps and bruises, from tripping over his own feet to running into things. He’s got a collection of Paw Patrol Band-Aids to prove it—though his latest one covers his nose, making him look quite comical. Trust me, he’s just fine.

7. Your Thoughts When I Yell in Public

With my baby in the cart and the older two zooming around like little tornadoes, I find myself raising my voice to keep everyone in line. My vigilance might come off as harsh, but I’m simply trying to prevent chaos. You might think I should be more gentle, but believe me, Target is not the venue for deep conversations.

8. Your Judgments of Their Meals

Sometimes, my kids eat what I like to call “snack meals.” Their faces, still sticky from breakfast pancakes, might raise eyebrows. Fast-food fries may make an appearance, and yes, one time they had pickles and thawed fruit for lunch. It’s either high-fives from fellow moms or horrified gasps. Either way, I know what they will eat!

9. Your Thoughts on My Toddler’s Need to Pee

When my 3-year-old has to go, he has to go—no questions asked. If there’s no bathroom around, he may find a tree. Sure, he might drop his pants completely and parade around, but I’d rather he avoid an accident. It’s all part of parenting, and yes, I do make my older one hold it!

I’m aware that someone will inevitably judge my parenting choices, but it doesn’t shake my confidence. I know I’m a great mom, despite the occasional mess or unconventional lunch choices. We enjoy family activities, from games to museum trips, and my kids are happy. If someone has to judge me, let it be for the little things.

Summary

Every parent faces judgment, and it’s easy to feel scrutinized for the everyday choices we make. From messy faces and snack meals to the occasional public outburst, these moments reflect the reality of parenting. I embrace my unique style and prioritize my children’s happiness while doing my best to navigate the challenges of motherhood.

Keyphrase: parenting judgment
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