When my children were little, having them share a room didn’t seem like a big deal. They co-slept with us most nights, and as long as they had a space to play during the day, they were content. However, as our family expanded and the kids grew, we decided it was time for them to have their own spaces. So, when we moved to a bigger house, creating separate rooms for them became our top priority.
Our new home allowed for our oldest and youngest to have individual rooms, while our middle two brothers shared an impressively spacious room that felt like a mansion compared to their previous tiny quarters. I spent months gathering fun decor—colorful pictures and quirky lamps—determined to make their new spaces inviting and comfortable. I envisioned rooms they would love so much they’d never want to leave.
But, as the saying goes, the best-laid plans often go awry.
A year has passed since we moved in, and while they adore their rooms during the day, nighttime brings the same routine. Without fail, I hear them asking, “Mom, can we sleep with our brothers?”
It baffles me. The pristine bed we bought for our youngest remains almost untouched, and the stylish couch-like bed in our oldest son’s room hasn’t been used for sleeping either. Instead, every night, they squeeze into the bottom bunk of the shared room, all four of them huddled together like sardines. At ages 11, 9, 7, and 4, they’re not exactly small—my youngest is nearly the same size as my second-grader. When you add in the blankets and pillows they need, there’s barely any space left. You can imagine the chaos: elbows digging into ribs, feet in faces, and knees in backs.
“Why don’t you sleep in your own beds?” I suggest nightly. “You’ll get better rest.” I worry about their sleep quality; surely they can’t be comfortable—after all, a lack of sleep could affect their school performance and moods, leading to all the irrational worries that come with motherhood.
But when I sneak a peek before heading to bed, there they are, entwined in a cozy heap. It’s as if they’re a litter of puppies, with heads resting on shoulders and hands holding each other. This is their time to connect. During the day, they bicker and argue, but at night, they transform into a picture of sibling love. As darkness falls, they shift from squabbling to snuggling.
While I might half-heartedly encourage them to sleep separately, this is one battle I choose not to fight. Yes, their beds remain largely unoccupied, and yes, they look incredibly uncomfortable piled together in a sweaty mass. But I understand that these moments are fleeting. They won’t always want to be this close. By sleeping together, they’re subtly reassuring one another that they are not alone against the shadows of the night, and that they can always count on someone nearby. Even if they don’t realize it, this unspoken bond will likely create a lasting sense of solidarity among them.
Therefore, while I enforce bedtime and teeth brushing as non-negotiable parts of our nightly routine, I relent on this one matter. Right now, their closeness is just as crucial as their quality of sleep.
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In summary, while my kids may not be getting the best sleep in their own beds, the love and connection they share at night are invaluable. I choose to embrace this phase, knowing it won’t last forever.
Keyphrase: Kids sleeping together
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