If you’ve ever had a roommate, you likely have a story or two that would make anyone cringe—especially when it comes to common courtesy issues. Dealing with someone who doesn’t think twice before using the last of the hot water or finishing off your cereal can be a nightmare. If a regular roommate behaved like your children do, you’d be ready to find a new place and hope for someone who’s at least civil.
However, nobody warns you that kids are the ultimate terrible housemates. Thank goodness for the love we have for them, because their daily antics push the limits of what anyone would tolerate from a cohabitant. Just imagine the frustration if you caught a “normal” roommate doing any of the following:
- Running around the house in the nude
- Plopping down on the couch sans clothes, leaving their bare skin on the cushions
- Strutting around in front of the windows, completely exposed (hello, neighbors!)
- Leaving the front door wide open, allowing all that “bought air” to escape
- Ignoring the light switches and keeping every light on in the house—even in closets!
- Surprising you with unflushed surprises in the toilet
- Devouring all your snacks, including the “good stuff” you thought was hidden
- Taking bites out of fruits and then putting them back in the fridge
- Licking the cream off Oreos or pilfering all the marshmallows from cereal
- Stashing empty food containers in the pantry as if that’s okay
- Leaving wrappers all over the house, even stuffed between couch cushions
- Inviting friends over and expecting you to feed them without question
- Bursting into your bedroom (or bathroom, or any other place) without knocking
- Leaving toothpaste gunk all over the sink
- Creating puddles on the floor after bath time, even with a bath mat nearby
- Being unreasonably loud and sometimes downright obnoxious
- Engaging in passionate arguments about trivial matters with you and others
- Hogging the TV with ridiculous shows that no one wants to watch
- Using up all the tape, Band-Aids, and sticky notes for their projects
- Depleting the soap and shampoo faster than you can replace it
- Consuming all the shared data on your Wi-Fi
- Hoarding food in their rooms that ends up rotting or smelling awful
- Dispersing dirty clothes throughout the house like it’s a game
- Expecting you to do their laundry without so much as a thank you
- Rummaging noisily through your personal belongings
- Leaving your drawers ajar, making the clutter even worse
- Asking overly personal questions just to get a rise out of you
- Tracking mud everywhere and failing to clean it up
- Keeping their rooms in such disarray that a hazmat suit is required
- Waking you up at all hours for various unpleasant reasons
- Constantly requesting to sleep with you
- Bringing home stray animals that come with their own set of problems
- Interrupting your important phone calls at the worst times
- Finishing the last of the toilet paper and neglecting to replace the roll
- Replaying the same songs on loop until you’re ready to scream
- Crying loudly for no apparent reason
- Whining about even the simplest chores
- Never contributing a single dime to shared expenses
It’s mind-boggling to think about living with someone who exhibits even a fraction of these behaviors for an extended period. Yet here we are, not only putting up with these maddening habits but also going out of our way to make sure our rambunctious little roommates are happy and well cared for. Ah, the joys of parenthood!
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In summary, kids are undeniably the most challenging roommates one could ever have, yet somehow, we manage to love them through it all.
Keyphrase: Kids as Roommates
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