My psychiatrist paused, pen in hand. “I suspect you have ADD,” she said. “Do you struggle with everyday tasks that seem to come easily to those around you?” In that moment, I fell apart, overwhelmed by the fear of finances that had led me to avoid having a checking account. I couldn’t estimate our mortgage payments, and our water was cut off more than once because I forgot to pay the bill, even though we had the money. My car was a disaster zone, filled with trash, and I was perpetually forgetting essentials like wipes or lunch boxes.
At 34 years old, I received a diagnosis for the condition that had affected my life in countless ways. I had the inattentive type of ADD (ADHD without hyperactivity). I soon learned I wasn’t alone in this struggle. A report highlighted an 85% increase in ADHD medication usage among women aged 26 to 34 from 2008 to 2012. According to Dr. Sarah Lind, a leading expert in ADHD, “the average age of diagnosis for women with ADHD, who weren’t diagnosed as children, falls between 36 and 38 years.” Before this, many women were misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety disorders. Even when these conditions were secondary, treating them didn’t address the underlying issue: ADHD.
Historically, many women remained undiagnosed due to the DSM-IV’s requirement that symptoms manifest by age 7. This research focused primarily on white boys, emphasizing hyperactivity, while overlooking that many girls do not exhibit symptoms until they are older. With the DSM-V now allowing for symptom onset by age 12, more women qualify for diagnosis.
As awareness grows, it’s becoming clearer how ADHD presents in adult women, which looks quite different from its manifestation in young boys—who tend to be loud, restless, and impulsive. For women, however, it often translates into struggles with day-to-day organization and management.
We often feel, as highlighted by ADDitude Magazine, that life is spinning out of control. The mess of our homes can make us dread inviting friends over. The thought of adding “one more thing” to our to-do lists can trigger a full-blown meltdown. Many of us spend our days in a cycle of coping, searching for lost items, or trying to keep up with expectations. Others may perceive us as inconsiderate for not sending birthday or thank-you cards.
I vividly recall my own experience with wedding thank-yous. I delayed writing them for months, finally forcing myself to purchase beautiful cards and jot down heartfelt notes. In a flurry of manic energy, I wrote those cards, addressed and stamped them, only to never actually mail them. This isn’t the behavior of your typical hyperactive child, and this difference is why many women remain undiagnosed. As Quartz discusses, girls often exhibit the inattentive form of ADHD, characterized by disorganization, daydreaming, and a tendency to mask symptoms to fit societal expectations. Research indicates that girls with ADHD are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide and two to three times more likely to self-harm than their peers without the disorder.
The risks extend into adulthood. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America states that nearly 50% of adults with ADHD also grapple with anxiety disorders. Many may also contend with depression, bipolar disorder, or other psychiatric conditions, often as a result of living with untreated ADHD. “We have a lost generation of women diagnosed later in life, who have managed their condition alone for too long,” says Dr. Lisa Green, a clinical psychologist and ADHD specialist.
As more women become aware of their symptoms, diagnoses are on the rise. Finding the right medication can feel like a tightrope walk, especially when balancing it with existing conditions like anxiety. After my diagnosis, I grappled with feelings of impostor syndrome, convinced I couldn’t possibly have ADD. This was a remnant of my childhood, where I was told to “hurry up” or questioned about my common sense.
But there is plenty of hope ahead. If you resonate with the symptoms listed by ADDitude Magazine, it’s time to schedule that appointment with your doctor. You don’t have to be the mom who always forgets to pack wipes, and the clutter of toys and tiny shoes doesn’t have to overwhelm you anymore. You can embrace the mother you were meant to be—without sacrificing your well-being.
For further insights, consider checking out this article about fertility and these fertility supplements for support on your journey. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent resources about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Women often face unique challenges with ADHD, leading to late diagnoses and a lifetime of unmanaged symptoms. As more women become aware of how ADHD manifests, gaining proper diagnosis and treatment can lead to significant improvements in quality of life. Seeking help is the first step towards a better future.
Keyphrase: ADHD in women
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