One afternoon, I was strolling through the neighborhood park with my son when a cyclist zoomed by, shouting, “Look at that carrot top!” I almost wanted to point out that carrot tops are actually green, but by the time I thought of it, he was gone.
Every outing with my son seems to invite an onslaught of remarks about his stunning curly red hair. The comments range from mildly amusing to downright rude. “He’ll be a handful!” or “That redhead is going to cause trouble,” and sometimes, the bizarre claim that “they have no souls.” However, the most frustrating ones are the ones disguised as questions: “Where did he get that red hair?”
As someone who endured teasing about my own auburn locks in middle school, I’ve grown accustomed to these inquiries. Initially, my husband would shoot me a meaningful glance when people asked about our son’s hair, as if to say, “Let’s set the record straight.” But that didn’t deter the questioners. My husband, with his deep black hair, tried shrugging it off: “Clearly, it’s from me.” Yet that too failed to silence their curiosity. Eventually, he resorted to giving mini lessons on genetics: “It’s all about chromosome 16.” I opted for a more straightforward explanation, saying, “It’s a recessive gene from both of us.”
Despite our attempts, the questions kept coming. I began offering familial context: “His hair is just like my mom’s when she was little! Check out her baby pictures!” That explanation has worked reasonably well, as it seems to satisfy the underlying need for others to connect the dots. After all, they want to understand how this beautiful boy could have hair unlike either of his parents.
Still, these responses often feel inadequate. I dislike having to justify my son’s hair by recounting family genetic history, especially while wrangling a three-year-old in the grocery store. Sometimes I fantasize about simply saying “my lover” and walking away, but I know that wouldn’t teach my child anything useful about engaging with the world.
I believe my discomfort stems from the realization that I shouldn’t be the one responding. In her book, Red: A History of the Redhead, Amy Thompson accurately describes the issue: “Growing up as a redhead, it sometimes felt like my hair belonged to everyone but me.” The people making these comments seem to forget that my son is right there with us. Instead of addressing him directly, they talk about him as if he’s invisible.
If they truly spoke to him, they could simply say, “I love your curly red hair!” Yet, strangely, I can’t recall anyone outside our family offering him that kind of compliment. Now that he’s old enough to engage in conversation, I’ve taken a step back, allowing him to respond. His answer is proof that kids can be far more imaginative than adults: “No, it’s green.” Depending on his mood, his delivery varies from playful to sassy.
It’s the perfect retort, asserting his individuality and insisting that people engage with him directly. More often than not, the questioners join in, laughing and saying, “Yes! It’s a lovely green!” Some clueless individuals have even speculated about colorblindness—a hilarious notion considering my son’s ability to name every color in sight. He’ll often correct them, declaring his hair is now blue.
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In summary, navigating the constant comments about my son’s red hair can be challenging. While I try to respond thoughtfully, I’ve learned to let him assert his identity creatively. Through this experience, I’ve come to realize the importance of engaging with our children, allowing them to express themselves, and fostering connections that truly honor who they are.
Keyphrase: Red Hair Comments
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