Growing up, my family relocated frequently. By the time I reached the age of 10, the longest I had stayed in one place was just over two years. My father’s job often required him to move to new cities, leading to a familiar refrain: “Kids, I got a promotion, and we’re off on a new adventure!” This adventure typically meant I became the new student at school, my belongings were packed away for months, and my social life was tossed into disarray once again.
While I learned to adapt quickly and make friends, deep down, I yearned for stability. I dreamed of a life where I could store belongings in a basement and remember where they were years later. I envied those who attended school with the same classmates from kindergarten through high school, and I longed for the extended families of aunts, uncles, and grandparents who lived nearby.
Determined to create the life I desired, I resolved to establish my own family tree, firmly planted in one location. I wanted my future children to experience the consistency I lacked in my childhood. Thus, when I was in college and my father announced that he and my mother were relocating across the country with my two younger brothers, I made a decision. I opted to stay and nurture the life I had built in my college town. Although my parents supported my choice, I felt a profound sense of guilt. Ultimately, I had found my partner, Mark, with whom I would cultivate the roots I had always dreamed of.
Living far from family presents significant challenges. It can be nearly impossible to accommodate both sides during holidays, and you inevitably miss out on the everyday moments of your extended family’s lives. While technology like texting and video calls has improved connectivity, seeing social media posts of family gatherings you can’t attend can be isolating. However, despite the distance, there are noteworthy benefits that come with it.
1. No Unannounced Visits
I cherish my family, but let’s be real: few enjoy surprise visits at dawn before they’ve had their morning coffee. With family members living far away, visits are planned, allowing for better preparation. I can stock up on their favorite snacks, and they won’t find me in a chaotic state when they arrive.
2. Sweeter Reunions
When my kids learn we’re going to visit their grandparents for our annual winter trip, they become more enthusiastic than on Christmas Eve. For weeks, they excitedly chat with their grandparents, and as the visit approaches, we reminisce about past experiences and outline our plans. We have meaningful traditions that make each reunion special, and though saying goodbye is always difficult, these visits help us endure the long stretches apart.
3. Building Our Village
With both sets of grandparents living out of state, we quickly realized that to navigate the challenges of parenting, we needed to rely on our neighbors and friends. We’ve fostered a vibrant community of friends who have become like family during tough times. While we would still have friends if our family lived closer, our relationships are deeper because we invest our time in those nearby.
4. Creating Our Own Traditions
Although we try to gather with family for holidays, there are times we end up celebrating just as our immediate family of four. Honestly, those moments can be wonderful. There have been Easter afternoons spent ordering pizza and Christmas dinners where we’ve enjoyed cereal beneath the tree. This distance has strengthened our bonds, allowing us to forge unique traditions that our children will cherish for years to come.
Living away from family certainly has its challenges, but it also brings unexpected delights. Although it comes with its share of complications — such as costly plane tickets during the holidays and navigating medical emergencies — I’m grateful I chose to branch out and nourish my own family tree. Our roots may be far-flung, but they are robust and flourishing beyond my initial expectations.
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Summary
Living away from family poses challenges but also offers unique benefits, including planned visits, stronger bonds with friends, and the opportunity to create your own family traditions. While navigating the distance can be tough, it allows for personal growth and meaningful connections.
Keyphrase: Living away from family
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