Last Thursday began like any other morning in my household. After preparing a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, fruit, and toast for my two young children, aged 4 and nearly 2, I quickly tidied up the house. I collected dirty towels and replaced them, eagerly anticipating a special visitor.
You see, I had recently penned an article about hiring a housekeeper, and that Thursday marked her first day with us. Typically, Thursdays are my dedicated cleaning days, but on this occasion, a wonderful woman arrived to handle the heavier tasks. While I ensured things were organized, the scrubbing, vacuuming, and mopping were no longer on my shoulders. I was relieved.
Her regular visits every two weeks have already lifted a considerable burden from my life. I now feel reassured that even during tough weeks, I can start fresh. As my new housekeeper began her tasks, I enjoyed some quality time coloring with my son, waiting for my daughter to wake from her nap. I wasn’t worn out or frustrated about what I hadn’t accomplished the day before; instead, it was one of the most enjoyable Friday mornings I could recall.
With preparations for a family wedding that weekend, I felt no stress about returning to a messy home. Instead of cleaning, I focused on packing, and we actually left on time for our road trip—a rarity in our family.
While many readers responded positively to my article about hiring help, a few took issue with my decision. Some expressed that I was privileged—an observation I acknowledge—and others labeled me as lazy. A number seemed baffled by my choice to outsource housework, suggesting that it should fall to the parent who spends the most time at home. This perspective, unfortunately, is rooted in the outdated belief that housework is women’s work, even though both parents share the responsibility of maintaining a home.
Let me clarify: if a parent stays home to care for children, they are contributing financially to the household. Managing errands, appointments, budgeting, and cooking all require time and effort. Childcare costs can rival those of a mortgage. Thus, it’s time we stop perpetuating the notion that staying home means one must shoulder every responsibility outside of earning income.
This misconception that I am somehow imposing on my husband? He deserves credit for understanding my choices. My husband is fully aware of my contributions and recognizes that hiring a housekeeper is a small expense compared to the time and energy I reclaim. He values me as an equal partner and respects my autonomy in making choices about how I spend my time.
To those who believe I should ‘repay’ my husband for hiring help with physical favors, I say, “You can take that attitude somewhere else.” It’s frustrating to hear that I should justify my choices based on someone else’s standards.
In addition to household tasks, I’m actively advocating for my autistic son’s educational needs, engaging with professionals for support and guidance. This is no small feat and often takes precedence over chores.
When I hired a housekeeper, my children didn’t get a “Get Out of Chores Free” card. They are learning to contribute to our household, understanding the value of teamwork and respect for shared spaces. Yes, I clean throughout the week, and no, hiring help doesn’t mean I neglect my responsibilities.
Yet, I can’t help but wonder why my choices disturb some people so deeply. Why should it matter how I manage my household? There seems to be a pervasive belief that all mothers should adhere to a specific lifestyle and fulfill certain roles without complaint.
The world would be better if we allowed individuals, especially women, the freedom to make their own choices without judgment. If you’re interested in learning more about family planning and parenting, you may find resources on at-home insemination valuable, such as those found at Make A Mom and NICHHD.
In summary, hiring a housekeeper has significantly improved my well-being and family dynamics. It’s a choice that should be respected, as it reflects personal priorities and values rather than societal expectations.
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