Abstract:
This article explores the psychological and physiological reasons mothers often find themselves awake late into the night. The late hours represent a rare opportunity for personal time amidst the demands of motherhood.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson aptly noted, “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” After a long day of caregiving, I find myself finally on the couch, my responsibilities momentarily set aside. The baby is asleep, the dinner dishes are done, and I’ve shed my bra—yet my mind races with a barrage of unfinished tasks.
I need to soak that stained onesie from today’s beet adventure, devise a meal plan, organize grocery lists, and more. It’s a relentless buzz of what should be done: catching up on months of my child’s baby book, ordering prints from the last few photo sessions, decluttering the junk mail that congests our recycling bin, and even planning our upcoming summer trip. The list is endless, but I swat away these thoughts and reach for my second glass of wine.
My body, nearly ten months postpartum, feels like it belongs to someone else. The physical toll is evident; my muscles ache, my hair sheds, and exhaustion envelops me. Each day is dictated by my baby’s needs—deciphering cries, establishing routines, and anticipating meltdowns. Motherhood, particularly in these early stages, resembles a full-contact sport, draining my energy until I crave a lukewarm cup of coffee.
In the early days, 3 a.m. feedings brought a certain solace. Those quiet moments offered respite from the incessant “should”s, creating a space where it was just me and my newborn. Even during the most taxing nights, I knew dawn would break, providing another chance to tackle the day.
However, as time passed and my son transitioned from a newborn to a mobile infant, the dynamics changed. The initial sweetness of sleepless nights faded, replaced by sheer fatigue. After months of disrupted sleep, I began to stay up later, yearning for the quiet I once cherished.
On one such night, as I lounged on the couch scrolling through social media, my partner asked, “Why not go to bed?” The answer was simple: during the day, I was entirely absorbed in my child’s world. The night was my only window to reclaim a piece of my own life, where often, I found solace in watching Real Housewives.
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In essence, late-night awakenings serve a dual purpose for many moms: a sanctuary from daily demands and a moment of personal reflection.
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