The struggle often begins before we even settle in for the night. In our household, we have a queen bed accompanied by a sidecar twin, and yet our 3-year-old insists on sharing our space. After nursing him to sleep, I attempt to sneak away to spend time with my partner. But the moment I lie down, my little one starts to stir, emitting that distinctive fretful cry that could either fade away or escalate into full-blown wails. I reach out, cover him, and gently pat him down. He quiets momentarily, but soon enough, the crying resumes. It’s nearly midnight; he was already up until 9 p.m., and it feels like this will be another long night of interrupted sleep.
It’s a misconception that only newborns and infants experience sleep difficulties; toddlers and preschoolers can also struggle with sleep. By 6 a.m., he’s wide awake, demanding milk. While I typically reserve nursing for bedtime, in my desperate quest for more sleep, I compromise. As he latches on, I can feel myself drifting back into slumber. But soon, he’s demanding “the other mama milk,” and I begrudgingly comply. I repeat the process, hoping for a few more moments of rest before he decides it’s time to start the day by flouncing into the living room.
According to Parents magazine, children aged 1 to 2 should ideally sleep for 11 to 14 hours, including two naps, while those aged 3 to 5 require 10 to 13 hours, typically with one nap that is often phased out by age 5. However, my son dropped his nap at just 2 years old. Recommendations often include establishing routines and rituals, preventing children from getting out of bed at night, and offering a comfort object to alleviate nighttime fears.
Parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith highlights that nighttime awakenings might stem from toddlers seeking a sense of control and autonomy. This need for independence can manifest in various forms, not limited to sleep disturbances. Factors such as a new sibling, a change in diet, or parental work schedules can also contribute to sleep issues, along with potty training, excessive daytime sleep, or simply going to bed too early.
Unfortunately, none of these explanations seem to apply to my son’s sleep disruptions. Thus, I find myself in the company of other parents facing similar challenges. A colleague, Jenna, shares that her 3-year-old exhibits similar sleep struggles. After attempting to enforce a sleep schedule since infancy, she ultimately decided to abandon the effort when her child reached 18 months. Now, her child is a night owl, thriving while the rest of the household tries to catch up on sleep.
Even though expert sources like Parents suggest that my son should be napping daily, we learned long ago that if he does nap, bedtime gets pushed to 1 a.m. Sometimes, he falls asleep inadvertently, such as in the car, and we can only hope that it doesn’t disrupt our collective sleep schedules.
Sleep expert Dr. Valerie Kirk, affiliated with the Alberta Children’s Hospital’s Pediatric Sleep Service, notes that nearly 40% of children will encounter sleep problems by age 18, defined as any issue affecting their ability to fall or stay asleep. It seems my children are just getting their sleep issues out of the way early.
Reflecting on my 7-year-old, who now sleeps soundly throughout the night, gives me hope that my younger children will eventually follow suit. For those parents grappling with similar sleep challenges, remember, you are not alone.
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In summary, sleep issues in toddlers and preschoolers are common and can stem from various factors. While routines and rituals can help, it’s essential to recognize that every child is unique.
Keyphrase: Toddler sleep issues
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