In the stillness of the night, I was jolted awake by my son’s cries. My partner, David, whispered urgently, “She’s really unwell. Are you sure she’s alright? Can’t we do something?” His concern, though rooted in love, only intensified my own worries. My daughter, just 16 months old, had been battling a runny nose and persistent discomfort. My maternal intuition screamed ear infection.
David is a proactive father; he bathes the kids every evening, so his anxiety was understandable. However, his relentless questioning was pushing my nerves to the brink. “You’re certain she’s okay?” he pressed. I struggled to quell both his voice and my own self-doubt until I finally snapped, “Just go to sleep! I’ll stay up with her if necessary. It’s just an ear infection. Trust me, I’ve got this.”
Yes, I can be harsh when sleep-deprived — it’s not my finest hour. But nearly a decade and four children into parenting, I’ve made enough frantic calls to our pediatrician to know the routine: unless it’s a true emergency, I need to hold out until morning.
I arranged pillows to provide support for my daughter and soon, she found comfort resting against my chest. With her ear against my heart, we managed to steal a few hours of sleep.
When I awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, I realized my earlier outburst had been forgiven. Energized by love and caffeine, I readied our three older children for school before heading to the pediatrician with my little one.
After examining her ear, the doctor said, “Oh dear! This is quite severe. She has a perforated eardrum.” My heart sank at the seriousness of the diagnosis. “We’ve dealt with many ear infections but never this,” I admitted, guilt flooding my thoughts. “I should have brought her in earlier, but she didn’t have a fever until yesterday. I just assumed…”
“Alicia, she’s going to be fine. You know better than to dwell on what you should have done. This isn’t as bad as it sounds. I’ll prescribe antibiotics and ear drops. Just bring her back in two weeks for a follow-up,” she reassured me.
Relief washed over me. My child was going to be okay, and a trusted medical professional had faith in my parenting abilities.
My pediatrician, a mother herself, has often alleviated my worries with her support and openness. During our years of chats, she’s shared her own challenges and vulnerabilities. On that morning, I encapsulated our shared experiences: “Parenthood is a balancing act between determination and letting go. It’s challenging to know when to fight and when to yield.”
She paused, looking at me with understanding, her eyes glistening with emotion. We shared a moment of connection, perhaps feeling a little stronger from our shared journey.
I must confess, my profound insight was essentially a rephrasing of her counsel. A few years prior, when my toddler suffered a severe burn injury, she had reminded me that my unwavering love and commitment during his recovery made me a good enough mom, regardless of the circumstances.
In today’s world, we often strive for perfection in parenting, fearing failure at every turn. This fear can be paralyzing, but it was during these moments of doubt that I discovered the healing power of love. Love was what sustained me when I first learned of my son’s critical injury and supported me through his painful recovery.
Upon returning home after the diagnosis, I caught a glimpse of my disheveled self in the mirror, still in my pajamas. I noticed the remnants of ear fluid on my daughter from our night together, a tangible reminder of my perceived failures. Instead of wallowing in guilt, I took a hot shower—an act of self-kindness that I’ve learned is essential for healing.
Once, when my daughter cried from ear pain, my son, now six, had offered to hold her. His patience and compassion, learned from his own experiences, reminded me of the importance of showing up with love.
If we choose to forgive ourselves for our missteps and embrace love, we can transform our parenting experiences, even amidst adversity. Through embracing imperfection, I have learned to extend love not just to my children but to myself as well.
Ultimately, love is the foundation that empowers me to be a strong and caring mother. We must remember to show up with love, no matter the challenges we face. We’ve got this.
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Summary:
This piece explores the importance of love in parenting, highlighting personal experiences of motherhood, the challenges faced, and the need for self-forgiveness. The author reflects on how love serves as the foundation for navigating difficult moments, emphasizing that showing up with love is the key to being a good parent.
Keyphrase: Love in Parenting
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