As a parent, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame, especially when navigating the complexities of a gifted child. I found myself grappling with this reality when I realized my son, Ethan, who reads two grade levels ahead, struggled with his handwriting. To my dismay, I discovered that at 7 years old, he couldn’t recognize his lowercase letters. His writing was a chaotic mix of awkward letters and his spelling was often incomprehensible. For instance, “bake” turned into “baek,” and he couldn’t even spell his own last name.
We dedicated countless hours to improving his writing skills, but it was a battle. Ethan only expressed frustration when it came to writing tasks. Sitting at his desk with lined paper, he would struggle to compose three simple sentences on topics we had discussed. Despite brainstorming and preparing in advance, the process was laborious and tedious. His grasp of phonics seemed to vanish the moment he picked up a pen. Just yesterday, he transformed “sushi rolls” into “shoo ruls”—mind you, this is a child who can read complex texts like “the national gallery.”
Eventually, I found myself pondering if there was an underlying issue at play. My research led me to consider the possibility of dysgraphia, a writing disorder that could explain the stark contrast between Ethan’s reading prowess and his writing difficulties. A formal diagnosis would not only clarify his challenges but also provide us with strategies to support him effectively.
However, this diagnosis would categorize my gifted child as learning disabled. Ethan is what experts refer to as “twice exceptional,” indicating that he possesses high abilities alongside a learning difference. I had already experienced sadness and concern when we discovered he shared the same ADHD traits that both my partner and I contend with. I understand the struggles associated with attention difficulties, social interactions, hyperfocus, and indecisiveness firsthand. Additionally, I witness my partner navigating his own learning disability, which is akin to dyslexia, but specifically concerning mathematics.
I often find myself worrying about the implications this diagnosis may have on Ethan’s future. While I can implement strategies to help him improve his writing, it pains me to think he may never find joy in it. The act of expressing his thoughts on paper might feel more like a burden than a delightful experience. Despite all the accommodations and support, I fear he will continue to face obstacles. As any parent would, I wish for my child to thrive without struggle.
At his homeschool co-op, Ethan is aware of how different his writing abilities are compared to his peers. He recognizes their fluid handwriting and effortless text production. We’ve tried to explain that his brain functions uniquely—something he already understands due to his ADHD diagnosis. I tell him that this difference makes writing more challenging for him compared to others.
“Maybe I just need to try harder, Mom,” he often suggests, and my heart aches because simply trying harder is not the solution.
“You can’t try harder,” I respond gently. “You can try differently. That’s why we are seeking an evaluation—to learn how to help you approach this in a new way.”
Ethan feels anxious about the assessment, and I’ve noticed he has started to compensate by asking me how to spell every word instead of attempting it himself. Yet, he still produces misspellings like “ruls” for “rolls” and “baek” for “bake.” Now that I am aware of his difficulties, I can’t help but feel sadness for the effort he puts into his writing. My own frustration pales in comparison to the challenges he faces.
Fortunately, his peers have yet to notice his writing struggles. If they have, they have shown great understanding. The homeschooling community is known for its acceptance of diverse learning paces, and for that, I am truly thankful.
Now we await the evaluation results with a mix of impatience and hope. A diagnosis would provide Ethan with a clear identification of his struggles; it would empower him to say, “I have dysgraphia” if he encounters challenges with his writing in the future. Moreover, it would equip us with the resources we need to support him effectively. It is my genuine wish that, despite any imperfections in his handwriting, Ethan will learn to embrace writing as a fulfilling activity.
Together, we will navigate these challenges. We will discover ways to assist him, and he will find methods to adapt. I believe in his resilience, and though the journey may be arduous, we will press on.
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Summary
In this narrative, a mother reflects on her experiences raising her twice-exceptional son, Ethan, who excels in reading but struggles with writing due to potential dysgraphia. The emotional journey includes grappling with self-blame, seeking an evaluation, and hoping to find strategies to support Ethan while fostering his love for writing. The story emphasizes the importance of understanding and accommodating diverse learning needs within the homeschooling community.
Keyphrase: Twice-exceptional gifted child
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