Navigating Life with a Velcro Baby: A Survival Guide

Overview of Parenting Dynamics

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Five years prior, I welcomed my first child into the world, filled with curiosity and a healthy dose of fear. My partner and I were completely unprepared for parenthood, having never changed a diaper or cradled a newborn. Our previous experience with plants was limited to a few succulents that we struggled to keep alive.

To our astonishment, parenting was manageable. Our son took to breastfeeding and bottle-feeding effortlessly, slept through the night by six weeks, and rarely fussed. We thought, “What’s all the fuss about?”

A Different Story with Baby Number Two

Fast forward to the arrival of our second child, and we now find ourselves with what I refer to as a “velcro baby.” If you’re unfamiliar, a velcro baby is one that clings to you constantly, unleashing a torrent of tears if you attempt to set them down. Their happiness is intrinsically linked to being nestled in your arms.

While it may sound idyllic, it can be overwhelming—especially when you need to handle basic tasks like using the restroom. Here are some strategies to cope with this demanding situation:

  1. Invest in Baby-Wearing Gear
    If you don’t own a Baby Bjorn, Moby wrap, or similar device, make your way to a store like Target immediately. These carriers are lifesavers, allowing you to keep your baby close while managing daily chores. You can cook, fold laundry, or even try to apply makeup (though let’s be honest, that’s a rare luxury with a newborn). Plus, you’ll be strengthening your arms and core—who needs the gym?
  2. Seek Support
    It’s unrealistic to expect to hold your baby around the clock, especially if you have other responsibilities. Seek help from family, friends, or even a trustworthy babysitter. I made the choice to enroll my little one in a Mother’s Day Out program twice a week, which has been invaluable for both my sanity and her socialization.
  3. Embrace Occasional Crying
    While it’s heartbreaking to hear your baby cry, it’s essential to let them cry sometimes. This is especially true for velcro babies, who can be particularly vocal. Invest in good earplugs or a soothing sound machine to help you cope. Your baby will be alright, and studies suggest that occasional crying can be beneficial for their development. After all, many of us survived our parents’ occasional “cry it out” methods without lasting trauma.
  4. Have a Transition Strategy
    It’s crucial to establish a method for moving your baby from your arms to their crib. Each night, I prepare my baby by changing her diaper and dimming the lights before the final feeding. Afterward, I call my partner in to help with the transition, which often feels like a covert operation as we attempt to exit the nursery without waking her.
  5. Engage in Outings
    Venturing out with your baby can be beneficial for both of you. Consider joining classes, such as music or baby gym sessions, where you can bond with your baby in a social setting. I’ve also rediscovered the joys of social gatherings; friends love to hold babies, providing you with a much-needed break.

While it can feel suffocating to have a tiny human permanently attached to you, remember that this phase is temporary. My experience with my first child was filled with chores and distractions, and I now appreciate this slower pace of life. There’s no need for perfectly clean dishes or folded laundry when you can cherish these fleeting moments with your little one.

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Summary

Navigating the complexities of parenting a velcro baby can be challenging but manageable with the right strategies. From utilizing baby-wearing gear to seeking support and allowing for moments of crying, these tips can help maintain your sanity while bonding with your child. Remember, this stage of life is temporary, and cherishing these moments is invaluable.

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