How I Embraced My Feminism and Stopped Apologizing for It

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When I first met my partner, I perceived him as a more ardent feminist than myself. While I too believed in the equality of genders, discussing it publicly felt daunting. Like many young women, I yearned for approval and acceptance. Whenever he brought up topics such as wage disparity or systemic sexism, people would nod in agreement, viewing him as an astute and empathetic individual. In contrast, when I attempted to engage in these discussions, I often sensed discomfort, annoyance, or boredom from those around me.

Society has conditioned us to be uncomfortable with women asserting their needs, let alone demanding them. I felt selfish for wanting a private space to use my breast pump, especially when I compared my situation to that of women facing severe oppression elsewhere, such as in Saudi Arabia. This thought process led me to silence; I watched my partner advocate for women’s rights while I stood by, feeling a mix of confusion and envy. It became clear to me that I resented him for being able to express feminist views without consequence.

A pivotal moment came when I looked at my children—a son and two daughters. I realized that my silence was a disservice to them. What if my son desired to be a stay-at-home parent? What if one of my daughters aspired to be a police officer? I understood that risking being perceived as “demanding” or “angry” was a small price to pay for the chance to advocate for equality and create a more inclusive environment for both men and women. Gradually, I began to integrate feminism into my identity.

Small victories fueled my confidence. For instance, when I spoke to colleagues about addressing an intimidating supervisor, I was dismissed as overly sensitive. However, when another coworker later echoed my complaint and was supported by HR, it confirmed the importance of speaking up. I now identify as a recovering feminist apologist.

A search for quotes about feminism revealed a troubling trend: many women felt compelled to apologize for their feminist beliefs, insisting they weren’t “that type” of feminist. This realization saddened me until I discovered a quote that resonated deeply: “I think every woman in our culture is a feminist. They may refuse to articulate it, but if you were to take any woman back 40 years and say, ‘Is this the world you want to live in?’ they would say ‘no’.” – Helen Mirren. Her words echoed the need for women to stop apologizing for advocating equal treatment.

We must support both genders when they stand up for equal pay and create a space that welcomes discussions on topics like breastfeeding in public. Women’s voices often lack the same validation as men’s in these conversations. I’ve come to realize that when my partner speaks on gender equality, he receives applause, while my similar statements are often met with skepticism. This disparity reflects the societal norms we navigate.

It’s crucial to engage in these dialogues. If you disagreed with the Women’s March on Washington, consider whether you would have felt the same about a hypothetical Men’s March for Women’s Rights. Likely, the latter would have been viewed as progressive. Remember, supporting women isn’t antagonistic toward men; achieving gender equality benefits everyone. We must persist in these conversations for the sake of our children.

In conclusion, embracing feminism is not just a personal journey; it’s a societal imperative. As we advocate for equality, we pave the way for future generations to thrive, regardless of gender.

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