In the intimate setting of my bedroom, my son Oliver, clad in festive pajamas from his older sibling’s Christmas past, excitedly exclaims, “Me have mama milk now.” His cheerful jump on the bed signals that it’s time to wind down for the night.
“Go to our spot,” I respond, and he scampers to the far side of the queen bed, where a sidecar twin is attached. He curls up beneath the pillow, his enthusiasm undeterred. “Mama milk, mama milk,” he chirps again, and I settle beside him, pulling my collar down. Oliver latches on, snuggling against me as he begins to suckle, a blissful expression on his face. Here I am, nursing my 3-year-old, and honestly, I could not care less about the opinions of others.
Yes, my little one still nurses at bedtime and occasionally during the night. While my older children were night-weaned by 15 months due to the arrival of their younger brother, Oliver’s circumstances are different. He remains my only child for now, so there seems to be no pressing reason to wean him or push him out of bed—especially given the spaciousness of our sleeping arrangements. So, yes, I unapologetically nurture my toddler, and I’m indifferent to outside judgment.
If you ask Oliver, he’ll proudly proclaim, “Me baby.” He often resists acting like a “big boy,” insisting instead that he is still tiny. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t achieve milestones, though. In fact, he was fully potty trained before turning three—a feat achieved much earlier than his older brothers, who trained at 3.5 years. He loves to hold my hand, which, while adorable, can be challenging when I’m balancing a purse and two bags of library books. If he isn’t holding my hand, he’s grasping his older brother’s.
In addition, I frequently wear him in a wrap during our hikes. After a bit of walking, he often requests a ride, and up he goes. We also use the wrap at church; while he generally behaves, boredom can lead to squirming, and no one wants to deal with that. Following my husband’s back injuries, we realized that a wrap is a necessity, and it’s proven useful in various scenarios—from shopping trips to comforting him when he’s upset. While he is a smaller 3-year-old, he still weighs around 28 to 30 pounds, making it a workout.
I breastfeed him, co-sleep, and hold his hand whenever he isn’t wrapped up. To many, this might seem excessive or even unhealthy, but it works for us—for two crucial reasons. Firstly, it meets Oliver’s needs, allowing him to feel secure and cherished. Secondly, it fulfills my own desire to nurture him. As an attachment parent, I believe that as long as these practices aren’t harmful—which they aren’t—they are his right. They provide him with a sense of safety and make him feel special amid his three energetic brothers.
Moreover, I have additional motivations for cherishing this time with him. Oliver is my last biological child. Due to health issues and necessary medications, another pregnancy is not an option for me. While we are open to the idea of adoption in the future, Oliver is the final baby I will breastfeed and co-sleep with. I want to absorb every moment of this precious stage. Soon, he will be able to hike on his own, and eventually, he will transition to his own bed—though he may still sneak into mine at night, just like his brothers used to do.
I’ve witnessed this progression with my older children. It seems like just yesterday that my firstborn was three, then four, and now he is seven—reading chapter books and engaging in discussions about topics that I find amusing yet perplexing. Meanwhile, his five-year-old brother is just beginning to read.
So, I will continue to embrace my baby for as long as possible. This doesn’t mean I will hinder his growth or continue nursing him until he’s five—that’s not our path. However, it does mean I will relish every fleeting moment of his babyhood. Most importantly, Oliver is content, feeling loved and cherished. I believe this is the greatest gift I can give him.
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In summary, I choose to savor every moment of my toddler’s early years, knowing that this precious time will soon pass. Oliver is happy, nurtured, and loved—what more could a parent wish for?
Keyphrase: Embracing Toddlerhood
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