When my daughter was born, she was stunning—ten tiny fingers and toes, perfectly formed features. Like many parents, I felt she was the most beautiful child ever. I believed that like other new mothers, I was experiencing an overwhelming sense of joy and pride.
As she grew, it became clear that while she displayed many typical baby behaviors, she was different. She smiled, laughed, and played, but by the age of eight months, she still required assistance to sit up and showed no interest in solid foods. When other babies began to walk, she was still army crawling, and it wasn’t until after her first birthday that she began to crawl on her hands and knees. Concerned, I reached out to early intervention services, and after months of assessments, we received a preliminary diagnosis of cerebral palsy.
Throughout my life, I believed in treating everyone with kindness and respect. However, I must admit that I had felt uneasy around individuals with disabilities. I often struggled with how to engage with them—should I acknowledge their disability or pretend it didn’t exist? My discomfort stemmed from uncertainty about what was considered rude or sensitive.
About four years prior to my daughter’s birth, I unexpectedly found myself working in a vocational rehabilitation program focused on adults with developmental disabilities. Initially hesitant due to my discomfort, I accepted the position out of necessity. This job turned out to be transformative, equipping me to raise a child with a disability.
During my tenure, I gained knowledge about disability rights and the historical oppression faced by individuals with disabilities. More importantly, I formed connections with incredible people who had significant disabilities. I learned their stories and recognized that every individual, regardless of their abilities, has something valuable to contribute. I came to understand that every person deserves dignity: to be seen, heard, valued, and included in decisions about their lives.
Ableism encompasses not only the discrimination faced by individuals with disabilities but also the systemic structures designed primarily for those who are typically abled. Despite nearly 20% of Americans reporting a disability according to the 2010 census, ableism remains under-discussed compared to racism, sexism, and ageism, which have gained more societal recognition. Movements advocating for civil rights and women’s rights have led to legal protections against discrimination based on race, gender, or age, yet people with disabilities are frequently overlooked in these conversations.
One reason for this oversight is society’s tendency to render individuals with disabilities invisible. For example, consider the challenge of naming a television show featuring a character with a disability whose storyline does not center on that disability. If the primary character you can think of is someone like Chrissy from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, it reflects the scarcity of authentic representation in media. The lack of visibility of individuals with disabilities in popular culture is a subtle yet pervasive form of ableism.
Ableism also manifests itself in more blatant forms, such as the mockery of individuals with disabilities or the absence of necessary accommodations in public spaces. Laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) aim to prevent discrimination, but the presence of laws alone does not guarantee inclusivity. Designing public restrooms with a single accessible stall does not equate to creating an environment that is genuinely inclusive of diverse needs.
Our attitudes also reflect ableism. When we express pity for individuals with disabilities or assume they require “fixing,” we reinforce harmful stereotypes. Asking what caused someone’s disability, as if we are solving a medical mystery, or assuming that a disability diminishes a person’s quality of life, also perpetuates ableism.
The language we use further illustrates these issues. It’s surprising to note that many people still use the R-word as a derogatory term without recognizing its offensive implications. Jokes that reference “the short bus” are equally damaging. Many individuals, particularly those raised in the ’90s, struggle to let go of terms like “lame,” which carry ableist undertones. Even expressing frustration about a family member can carry connotations that reflect mental health stigmas.
While it’s understandable to feel defensive when challenged about language, it’s crucial to view the world through a more equitable lens. By becoming aware of the inequities faced by individuals with disabilities, we can start to identify and refrain from contributing to them.
One important topic to address is “person-first language,” which emphasizes that individuals with disabilities are people first—people who happen to have disabilities. This distinction may seem trivial, but it is vital to recognize that a disability is merely one aspect of a person’s existence.
For many of us who are typically abled, we often do not consider disability in our daily lives, which leads to a lack of discussion about it with our children. When children notice differences in others, our instinct may be to silence them. However, acknowledging and discussing these differences is essential. It is important to encourage curiosity and open dialogue rather than shame.
In a world where diverse experiences exist—whether it’s a person with a prosthetic leg or someone with a unique walking aid—celebrating our differences is far more valuable than ignoring them. Encourage your children to ask questions and engage in conversations about diversity. Respond to their inquiries honestly and directly, modeling respect for all individuals and their unique stories.
By nurturing empathy and understanding in our children, we can contribute to a kinder and more inclusive society.
For more insights on related topics, visit Make a Mom’s blog on home insemination kits, which may provide valuable information. Additionally, check out Healthline’s resources for further reading on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, ableism is a pervasive issue that demands our attention and understanding. Recognizing our own biases and actively working towards inclusivity can create a more equitable world for everyone, regardless of ability.
Keyphrase: Understanding Ableism and Its Importance
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