Every evening, I like to assess my day, ensuring a balance between fun, relaxation, accomplishments, family time, and personal moments. Generally, this practice leaves me feeling fulfilled, allowing me to retire for the night with a clear mind. However, tonight is different. I’m left with a nagging sense of regret that compels me to write this in search of self-forgiveness.
My daughter, Lily, is a natural celebrator. She vividly expresses her creativity through stories titled “The Night Before Thanksgiving” and “The Night Before Christmas Eve, Eve,” which I treasure deeply and keep within our family. She is the essence of joy and enthusiasm, a true contrast to my often sarcastic demeanor.
Lily has a knack for throwing parties, and her latest endeavor was for the NFL games earlier today. All she asked was for my support in choosing a team and the appropriate colors to represent the Atlanta Falcons. Her preparations were nothing short of impressive, featuring:
- An elegantly arranged platter of chips and salsa
- Homemade sugar cookies she crafted from scratch
- A “Let’s Go Falcons!” banner adorning the back sliding door
- Streamers in team colors
- Pre-sliced cheese and crackers for easy snacking
- A unique tattoo-making activity with glitter
- A selection of beverages adorned with Falcons straws and themed cups
Yet, in the moment, I dismissed her thoughtful celebration. I passed on the cookies due to my sugar detox. I thought, “What does it matter? My team, the Raiders, aren’t even playing.” But it wasn’t just about the game; it was about bonding as a family, a moment she clearly had invested herself in.
I failed to engage with her excitement. I didn’t even take a single photo. My actions—or lack thereof—left me questioning my role as a father. Deep down, I know I am a good dad; I cherish our nightly rides on my back, the lessons I strive to impart, and the countless laughs we share. Yet, today, I overlooked an invaluable opportunity to create a precious memory, all while I was preoccupied with mundane tasks.
Lily, unfazed by my absence, perhaps expected my indifference, amplifying my guilt. I plan to wake her up tomorrow, not with an apology, but with a big hug and heartfelt thanks for being the wonderful kid she is. She has taught me more than I could ever teach her.
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In summary, tonight’s reflections highlight the common struggle of dad guilt. It’s a reminder that moments shared with our kids are invaluable and shouldn’t be taken for granted. As I prepare for a fresh start tomorrow, my focus will be on being present and appreciating every moment.
Keyphrase: Dad guilt in parenting
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