In my household, I navigate the complexities of caring for my 6-year-old son, Alex, alongside my 71-year-old mother, whom I affectionately refer to as my daughter due to the role reversal that dementia has brought about. Two years ago, my mother received a dementia diagnosis, leading me to assume responsibilities akin to those of a parent. Living together with my husband and our lively dog, I am constantly aware of the impact this situation has on my son.
The overarching concern that lingers in my mind is the potential emotional toll that witnessing my mother’s decline may have on Alex. I wish for his childhood to be filled with joy and innocence, free from the shadows of illness. Despite my worries, I recognize that he is gleaning invaluable lessons from this experience, lessons that many adults may never encounter. Here are five key insights my mother imparts to my son daily:
1. Patience
Children, especially at the age of six, are not known for their patience. Being an only child, Alex is accustomed to receiving undivided attention. However, as my mother requires more care, Alex is learning the importance of waiting his turn. Whether it’s allowing his grandmother to use the bathroom first or ensuring she is settled before engaging in play, these moments teach him that patience is a vital life skill.
2. Kindness
Dementia often brings unpredictable changes in behavior and mood, especially with medication adjustments. On one occasion, after a dosage increase, my mother struggled with coordination and clarity. Observing this, Alex instinctively followed us with a chair, ready to catch her if she stumbled. Though it saddened me that he had to consider such actions, it filled me with pride that he chose to prioritize his grandmother’s safety and wellbeing.
3. Respect for Elders
As time passes, we will all age. I hope that when I reach old age, the younger generation will treat me with kindness and respect. Alex is learning this lesson through his daily interactions with my mother: clearing her plates, holding doors open, and aiding her with mobility. These acts of service reinforce the importance of honoring our elders as valuable members of our society.
4. Acceptance
My mother’s condition is a painful reality. She is no longer the vibrant woman she used to be, yet she remains my mother and Alex’s grandmother. Accepting this change has been a challenging journey for me, and I hope that Alex will continue to embrace his grandmother, understanding that while her illness alters her, it does not diminish her value as a person.
5. Strength
Dementia affects not just the individual, but the entire family unit. While I wish to shield Alex from its harsh realities, I am often struck by his resilience. He can witness my mother’s struggles yet still find joy in building Lego cities or scoring goals in soccer. His ability to find strength amidst adversity inspires me to be strong in the face of challenges.
I recognize that I cannot reverse my mother’s condition or isolate Alex from the realities of life. Yet, I find solace in knowing that each day delivers lessons that mold his character into something extraordinary.
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In summary, while my mother’s dementia brings difficult trials, it also presents an opportunity for profound growth for my son. The lessons of patience, kindness, respect, acceptance, and strength are shaping Alex into a thoughtful and compassionate individual.
Keyphrase: lessons from dementia
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