In our household, emotions run deep and vibrant. While this isn’t unusual, it can be particularly challenging on days when every member is feeling the full spectrum of their feelings simultaneously. Lately, my own emotional state has felt like a rollercoaster, likely due to a mix of postpartum hormonal changes, the demands of raising three toddlers, and sheer exhaustion. There’s no simple solution, which has led me to reflect on how I handle my emotions and, consequently, how I guide my children through theirs.
I often find myself quick to anger, resorting to yelling—an aspect of myself that I’m not proud of. When I feel hurt, I tend to retreat into silence, which adds to the chaos of our daily lives. Stress easily overwhelms me, and I struggle to remember that I have the power to alleviate it by simply saying “no” or adjusting my expectations.
Observing my two-year-old express his fury by screaming at the top of his lungs and shaking with rage has been enlightening. I realize that emotions can’t be switched off like a light. Yet, I often urge my children to “calm down” or “change their attitude” without equipping them with the necessary tools to manage their feelings.
When anger strikes, I sometimes feel justified in my emotions, experiencing disappointment and unrest. However, I can articulate those feelings, while my children often cannot. Emotions are complex and difficult to define, and they impact us in numerous ways. Our children experience these overwhelming feelings, too, albeit in their smaller bodies and less developed minds. They lack the vocabulary and experience to navigate their emotions effectively, which is where I, as a parent, must step in. It is my role to help them process their feelings, understand their significance, and learn self-control.
Acknowledging this responsibility can be daunting, but I firmly believe it is essential. We must guide our children to not suppress their emotions but rather to embrace and feel them authentically, enabling them to respond appropriately.
Recently, during a conversation with a friend, she questioned, “What’s the purpose of feeling angry if it doesn’t change the past or influence the future?” I can relate; I often dodge my emotions, skirting interactions that may force me to confront how I truly feel. In contrast, children feel intensely, drawing us into the whirlwind of their joy and frustration. They experience emotions that can overwhelm their small hearts and minds. While I may hide from my feelings, fearing I’m too much to handle, it’s crucial to remember that emotions are not shameful. They are simply part of the human experience.
There’s a couch in our home designated for emotional release, where the kids can scream, throw stuffed animals, or kick the wall in their room. I also have a space for myself where I can sit in tears or in quiet reflection. We take a moment to pause, identify the emotion, and explore its roots—not to suppress it but to foster emotional growth. This practice allows us to experience a full range of feelings: joy, sadness, excitement, and anger. I want my children to grow up equipped with a healthy understanding of their emotions, empowering them to change their world rather than be shaped by it.
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In summary, fostering emotional intelligence in children is critical for their development. By allowing them to express and process their feelings in a safe environment, we prepare them for the complexities of life and help them navigate their emotions as they grow.
Keyphrase: Emotional Intelligence in Parenting
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