During a recent family trip to Disneyland over the holidays, my wife and I made it a priority to pack a harness for our 2-year-old daughter, Lily. Taking her anywhere often feels like bringing a wild animal out of its comfort zone. This isn’t to undermine our affection for her or her need for independence—quite the opposite. However, as the youngest of three, she is undeniably the most determined child I’ve encountered.
We anticipated that bringing a leash would invite disapproving looks and the occasional snarky remark, and we were not disappointed. While navigating through the bustling Disneyland crowd, I felt the weight of judgment from other parents, many of whom regarded my choice as excessive. One woman even questioned the necessity of the leash as Lily lunged toward the water at the “It’s a Small World” attraction. Had I not secured her, she would have undoubtedly taken a plunge. However, I doubt that was enough to sway the opinion of that judgmental bystander.
This encapsulates the challenge of parenting a spirited child: you’re criticized no matter your choice. If I hadn’t used a leash, Lily could easily have become the lost child announced over the intercom, or worse, the one trending on social media after wandering into a crowded parking lot.
She’s a delightful little girl, full of energy and curiosity, yet she possesses no comprehension of danger or consequences—a stark contrast to my awareness of the world around her. I utilize a leash as a safety measure because her unpredictability is absolute. My eldest son, Max, was quite the handful too, and we opted for a more discreet leash designed as a plush monkey backpack. With Lily, we have embraced a more straightforward approach, using a bright, unmistakable harness without shame.
My middle child, Emma, was naturally compliant and preferred to stay close by, so we never needed a leash for her. This highlights the diversity in children’s temperaments. Just because your child can remain at your side in a crowd doesn’t imply superior parenting; it simply means your child is less spirited. Congratulations on that, but every child develops at their own pace.
I’ve been a parent long enough to understand that circumstances will shift as time progresses. My child may achieve milestones sooner or later than others, but that doesn’t reflect on one’s parenting abilities. Children are all unique—some are more timid, while others charge through life with unbridled enthusiasm.
To those who don’t have children and feel entitled to judge parents who use leashes, it’s best to remain silent. You lack insight into the complexities of the situation. Ultimately, we’re simply striving to keep our adventurous child safe while preserving our own sanity.
Over the course of three days at Disneyland, Lily remained on her leash, preventing her from leaping off rides or darting into crowds. So, if you caught sight of me managing a lively toddler on a leash and couldn’t fathom why, here is the explanation: my primary goal is safety.
I would prefer for Lily to hold my hand, to stay close without fidgeting and pulling away out of curiosity. However, that’s not her nature. I wouldn’t change a thing about her spirited personality; her curiosity and determination are truly unparalleled. While they may be challenging now, I hope these traits will be sources of pride in the future.
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Summary
Parenting a spirited child often results in tough choices, including using a leash for safety. While some may judge this decision, it ultimately serves to protect the child and maintain parental sanity. Each child develops differently, and it’s crucial to focus on individual needs rather than societal expectations.
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