“NO!” The word bursts forth from my toddler’s lips with a joyful exuberance that feels like a long-lost memory coming back to life. She pronounces it with such clarity, the single syllable resonates with authority. Our recent dialogues have taken on this familiar rhythm:
“Would you like some strawberries?”
“NO!”
“Shall we go outside?”
“NO!”
“How about a bubble bath?”
“NO!”
Her excitement over her newfound ability to express herself is infectious. She even refuses treats she typically enjoys, just to experience the thrill of saying the word:
“Do you want cookies?”
“NO!”
“Would you like to play with me?”
“NO!”
I can’t help but smile as I witness the power of her defiance. Just like her mother, who was playfully dubbed “Determined Daisy” as a child, she is unafraid to voice her thoughts, projecting them boldly into the world. It’s as if she’s testing the limits, waiting to hear the echo of her own voice.
While many parents might gently admonish her with phrases like “be polite” or attempt to soften each “No!” with a tentative “How about yes?”, I choose a different approach. Each “No!” she articulates fills me with hope. I recognize that this fearlessness is something she will need to navigate the complexities of life. This realization has sparked a new perspective within me — I had always thought I’d need to teach her this strength, but perhaps the lessons will flow in the opposite direction.
As I listen to her, I’m reminded of my younger self, someone who also relished the empowerment that comes with saying no. Over the years, societal expectations have dulled that voice, often urging women and girls to agree and remain silent. Yet, my toddler’s expanding vocabulary is a refreshing reminder to reclaim that assertiveness. I pledge that this will be my year to reintroduce the word “No!” into my conversations — to express it loudly instead of remaining quietly compliant. The timing feels perfect; this year is certainly not one for surrender.
Embracing this word will allow me to carve out space for what truly matters. Just last week, my infant daughter’s favorite word was “Mama,” which she repeated exuberantly throughout the day. Every time I entered a room, she would chant “Ma! Ma!” while clapping her tiny hands in delight, eagerly awaiting a hug. I often joke that I have two biggest fans — my baby girl and her older sister.
By reclaiming the power of “No!”, I’ll create space not only for my daughters but also for the various roles I juggle as a mother, spouse, and entrepreneur. It empowers me to ensure that my days are spent on what I prioritize most. My 1-year-old reminds me that how I allocate my time is ultimately my choice. While it’s often a challenging decision, it’s one I don’t need to apologize for.
Saying “No” is a kindness we can extend to ourselves. By vocalizing it, we reclaim our voice and can follow its lead. It serves as a protective barrier for our priorities, helping them not to get lost in the whirlwind of our busy lives. We often think of exploration as seizing every opportunity presented, but sometimes it’s about being selective. Rediscovering the joy of “No” in adulthood is essential for our well-being as mothers.
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Summary
My toddler’s enthusiastic embrace of the word “No!” has inspired me to reconnect with my own voice and assertiveness. While many may discourage such boldness, I celebrate it as a vital skill for navigating life’s challenges. This journey of reclaiming “No!” reflects not only the importance of self-advocacy but also the essential balance of prioritizing what truly matters, especially as a mother.
Keyphrase: rediscovering the power of no
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