Author: Lisa Harrington
Abstract
This article discusses the importance of responding to a baby’s needs to preserve parental sanity and family harmony, emphasizing that immediate comfort measures are not only acceptable but often necessary for first-time parents.
Recently, I visited a friend, Jenna, who had just welcomed her newborn. As I entered her room with a bouquet of flowers, assorted snacks, and some light reading material, I noticed her pediatrician questioning her about the pacifier in the baby’s mouth. “I struggled to nurse him, and every time I laid him down, he cried. The pacifier helped him settle,” she replied.
The pediatrician’s response was dismissive: “He’s too young for that; let him cry or nurse him.” I watched as Jenna’s husband visibly tensed, and Jenna fought back tears. It was heartbreaking. I nearly yanked the doorknob off its hinges in frustration. Unsurprisingly, they no longer consulted that doctor.
If you find it difficult to allow your child to cry, and you prefer to do whatever it takes to soothe them, then do just that. If cuddling them to sleep brings you peace, embrace it. Babies communicate their needs primarily through crying, and as they grow, you can teach them more effective ways to express themselves. This learning process takes time—so for now, prioritize giving your baby what they need.
This approach ultimately benefits everyone in the family. I gave in to my three children whenever they cried, and they’ve turned out to be reasonably well-adjusted individuals. It’s crucial to understand that responding to a baby’s cries does not spoil them; they are not trying to manipulate you. They lack the cognitive ability to do so at this age. Swiftly comforting them won’t lead to narcissistic behavior down the line.
Bedtime is particularly sensitive for parents. By evening, with other children needing rest and parents craving some downtime, the temptation to use quick fixes increases. If allowing your child to nap in an unconventional spot or beside you while you relax brings peace, go for it. There’s no shame in making life easier for both you and your child.
Moreover, when out in public, I’ve always prioritized quieting my kids. At times, it’s impossible to leave a store mid-meltdown, especially when you’re low on essential supplies like toilet paper and coffee. Babies and toddlers often lack the understanding to articulate their distress, leading to tears. If a phone or a treat keeps them calm and prevents judgmental stares from others, then do what you must. Remember, maintaining your sanity is the overarching goal here.
For those who find the “cry it out” method challenging, understand that it’s perfectly fine to tend to your baby’s needs. If you have older children, involve them in comforting the baby so you can catch a moment to yourself. The mother’s emotional state sets the tone for the household; if she’s overwhelmed, the family will feel it too. Sometimes, that means giving the baby exactly what they want.
Additional Resources
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Summary
In summary, attending to your baby’s needs is crucial for maintaining parental sanity and family harmony. It’s perfectly acceptable to comfort your child in whatever way works for you, allowing you to manage the challenges of parenting while ensuring a peaceful home environment.
Keyphrase: Responding to Baby’s Needs
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