Every weekday, from dawn until dusk, I am immersed in parenting my small children. My day consists of wiping faces and bottoms, preparing meals and drinks, reading stories aloud, and transporting them to various activities. I facilitate their education, which involves everything from reading and writing to math exercises on the computer and complex science experiments. I administer hugs, mediate conflicts over toys, and sometimes I find solace in the bathroom, though someone inevitably finds me. My lunch often consists of leftover bites from my children’s plates, all while managing our pets who need in and out, again and again.
At 4:30 p.m., my partner returns home, and we often collapse together in front of the television. He takes over some parenting duties, prepares dinner, and also jumps in to help with the inevitable messes. While my days are filled with non-stop action and I occasionally feel overwhelmed, I recognize that I am not a single parent.
I wake up gradually, whenever my kids do. I don’t have the pressure of waking them up at 6 a.m. for daycare drop-off by 7:30, which means I can avoid the frantic race to get to an 8:00 job that might be less than fulfilling—like my friend Mark, a single dad, who longs to spend more time with his kids. I am fortunate enough not to stress about incurring late fees at daycare or managing my children’s needs entirely on my own. I hold a deep admiration for single parents.
Discussions often arise regarding the so-called “mommy wars,” debating stay-at-home parents versus those who work outside the home. This conversation often overlooks that fathers also play a role in these dynamics. It sometimes feels as if we are pitted against one another, judging each other’s choices and circumstances.
But truly, I do not judge you. In fact, I celebrate your resilience. I can’t fathom how you manage parenting without a partner. When my husband is away for the weekend, I struggle. The thought of balancing work and parenting alone is daunting. You lack the opportunity for breaks or the reassurance that someone will step in when things get tough. If you’re unwell, there’s no one to take over for you. I take my support system for granted.
Contrary to what some might think, I have no disdain for daycare. I understand that for many, it’s a necessity. You do your best to find a suitable environment for your children, and I recognize how challenging that can be. The pressure to secure quality care, especially during unexpected closures, must be an enormous source of stress.
After a long day at work, coming home to tackle parenting responsibilities alone must feel insurmountable. The endless chores of meal preparation, cleaning, and laundry all fall squarely on your shoulders. You manage everything from sorting socks to ensuring all essentials are stocked, including those last-minute grocery runs. These are the actions of true heroes—the unsung champions of everyday life.
Despite the exhaustion that comes with parenting, you ensure your children are fed, loved, and educated. I have help, yet I still feel drained and overwhelmed at times. You, however, persevere without the option to tap out.
Let’s put aside the conflicts between different parenting choices. The debates over breastfeeding, formula feeding, daycare, or preschool are tiresome and frankly unproductive. We are all facing our own challenges, and many of us don’t understand the struggles others endure. I may not fully grasp your experiences, but I see your happy, thriving children, and I know you are doing an incredible job.
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In summary, single parents are the embodiment of strength and resilience. Your ability to juggle countless responsibilities while nurturing your children is nothing short of heroic. Let’s support one another instead of dividing ourselves into categories of parenting choices.
Keyphrase: Stay-at-home parent support for single caregivers
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