I have been grappling with how to articulate the emotions that surfaced after encountering a particular comment—one that continues to unsettle me. It was a fleeting remark, a few crude words hidden beneath an article I authored on mental health, yet its impact was profound. This comment provoked anger, fear, and an unsettling realization about the world we inhabit. It was not merely harsh or judgmental; it was vulgar, sexualized, and ultimately violent.
What she needs is a strong man with a large member. That’ll fix her. I will remedy her depression. (For clarity, let me state unequivocally: Large genitalia do not cure depression, and sexual intercourse does not “fix” mental illness.)
Perhaps I should provide context about the article and myself, as if a justification is necessary for such vitriol. Maybe I was disrespectful? Did his comments carry some truth? Am I too uptight, requiring some form of sexual release? But no, none of this holds any truth. I did nothing wrong. No individual deserves to be addressed in this manner. Regardless of my identity or occupation, I should not be subjected to sexualized insults. Such language is demoralizing, degrading, and, quite frankly, unacceptable.
This language exemplifies sexism at its core.
I can anticipate some reactions: “You’re being overly dramatic,” or “It’s just a joke.” If you find yourself thinking this way, allow me to clarify: Each time you encounter such language and remain silent, you contribute to the problem. When you use such terms, you reinforce stereotypes and normalize gender discrimination. You perpetuate sexual aggression and excuse violence. According to Everyday Feminism, phrases like “screw you” and “suck my…” normalize sexual violence and cultivate a culture that accepts it.
I am tired of remaining silent, so today, I speak up. I address you, the anonymous commenter, and all men who share your mindset:
I don’t know you, but I am acutely aware of your type because I’ve encountered individuals with your mentality throughout my life. I’ve sat in classrooms, worked alongside men like you, and faced “your kind” both online and in person.
From the moment I began to develop, you have lurked and leered—harassing and sexualizing me since my body changed. Logically, I realize you aren’t the same individual who catcalled me at 14 or asked, “How much?” at 16. You are not the man who threatened me in the middle of nowhere or exposed himself at work. Yet, you embody the essence of these men.
Typically, I would ignore comments from individuals like you because, frankly, engaging with you rarely leads to productive discourse. You may hear my words but will likely scoff or dismiss them. My thoughts deserve more respect than that.
This time, however, I felt compelled to speak—not for you, but for the countless women who have endured similar experiences. Women who have faced threats of violence, degradation, and intimidation, whether at home, on the street, or in the workplace. Your words are, indeed, frightening.
You likely see nothing wrong with your comments, dismissing them as “locker room talk” or “boys being boys.” But this is not acceptable. Real men do not speak this way.
So if you are still reading my words—if you are still engaging with my perspective—think twice before you type or speak. Do it not only for me but for your mother, sister, daughter, colleague, or friend. Hatred is unbecoming, and sexism is not attractive.
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In conclusion, it’s imperative that we challenge harmful language and attitudes that perpetuate discrimination. We must advocate for respect and equality in all interactions.
Keyphrase: sexism in language
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