There was a period in my life when I eagerly embraced New Year’s resolutions, excited for the fresh start they promised. Now? Not so much. The notion feels like a setup for disappointment, often resulting in a cycle of guilt and indulgence—especially when resolutions lean towards the clichéd like “Shed that last 10 pounds!” or “Hit the gym three times a week!” or “Stop devouring an entire box of Cocoa Pebbles nightly.”
Over the past year, I have actively pursued a more authentic existence. This transformation was spurred by a book I partially read during my pregnancy, but I truly took the plunge when I felt overwhelmed with life, coinciding with my daughter’s first birthday.
During the second year of her life, I committed to “being true to myself.” This involved shedding guilt over trivial matters. When mom guilt struck, I turned to my sister, partner, or best friend for reassurance that I’m doing a good job—because let’s face it, we all need a little encouragement sometimes. Moreover, on days when social gatherings feel too much, I simply decline, reminding myself that I need to prioritize my genuine self. It’s akin to the youthful mantra of YOLO, but tailored for adults.
Embracing my true self also means recognizing that every other mother is navigating her own journey, deserving of compassion instead of judgment. Sure, my child might have managed to wait quietly in a store line, but she also engages in imaginary dialogues with our pets, and munches on butter packets at restaurants without a second thought—something I indulge her in.
So, if I see another mother whose child is hatless in winter, I won’t offer a side-eye. After all, we have no idea what battles she faced just to zip that coat. As Kermit the Frog wisely says, “It’s not my business.”
To all the mothers seeking a New Year’s resolution that’s genuinely achievable: Embrace authenticity and refrain from casting judgment on others. Let’s collectively discard our Judgy McJudgerson attitudes, which, by the way, went out of style in the 90s and never suited us well anyway.
In the spirit of being helpful—because part of being true to oneself is lending a hand—here are some simple resolutions that can bolster your sense of accomplishment:
- When you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, take a moment to check your inbox. Instead of deleting emails, why not scroll to the bottom and hit “unsubscribe”? You’re unlikely to make those Kraft recipes or buy a Groupon Getaway anyway. It’s like tidying up, but you can do it while half-watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy from September.
- Discard your child’s artwork each night while they sleep. (Live your best life! No judgments!)
- Refrain from making negative comments about other mothers or women in general. This one is easy and requires minimal effort.
It truly is that straightforward! Happy New Year!
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In summary, the resolution to stop shaming other mothers and to embrace one’s true self can be liberating. By fostering a supportive environment for each other, we can all thrive as parents.
Keyphrase: Stop Judging Other Moms
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