Recently, my social media feeds were flooded with a heartwarming trend: the Tree of Life “brelfies”—breastfeeding selfies—shared by mothers globally, thanks to the innovative PicsArt app. These images capture the beauty of motherhood, showcasing mothers nourishing their children alongside a symbolic “tree of life” graphic to honor the nurturing power of breast milk.
The initiative aims to normalize breastfeeding, a message I wholeheartedly support. Women should not face shame for breastfeeding in public, nor be pressured to cover up or feel inappropriate. They are simply feeding their hungry children. Yet, amidst the joy of seeing these captivating photos, I felt a twinge of sadness.
I was unable to breastfeed my children, despite my strong desire to do so. Before my first child was born, I was fully committed to the idea of breastfeeding. I was aware that it could be challenging, but I was confident I would succeed. However, when my son arrived, I quickly discovered that things weren’t going as planned. We consulted a lactation specialist in the hospital and again shortly after we returned home. At around six days old, I began to sense something was amiss.
Though I had milk, I felt I didn’t have enough. Other mothers at La Leche League gatherings reassured me, insisting I should relax. When I asked about supplementing, they firmly advised against it, as if the mere mention of formula was taboo. My pediatrician echoed this sentiment: “He’s gaining, albeit slowly. Don’t give up.”
I attempted pumping, but after an hour, I had barely collected an ounce. I faced repeated encouragement to persist. I increased my fluid intake, made lactation cookies, and took fenugreek, yet nothing seemed to work.
At my baby’s one-month check-up, he had lost nearly two pounds from his birth weight. We rushed to the hospital, but the focus remained on potential issues with him rather than addressing my breastfeeding struggles. Despite numerous tests, it seemed that the possibility of my milk supply being insufficient was off the table.
Finally, after consulting with my partner, I decided to obtain formula. “We’re giving it to him,” I asserted. Within days, my baby began to gain weight. The doctors eventually acknowledged the truth I had sensed: he had been starving, and the only solution was formula.
With my second child, I approached breastfeeding with determination, eager to try new strategies. However, when the situation mirrored my first experience, I promptly offered a bottle at his two-week appointment—no emergency trips this time.
For a long time, not being able to breastfeed weighed heavily on me, causing emotional distress and guilt. Observing the beautiful breastfeeding images shared online, along with the supportive comments from other mothers, was bittersweet. I love my children as much as they love theirs, and I want the best for them too. I have never intended to undermine breastfeeding, despite being misunderstood when I expressed that “fed is best.”
It’s fantastic if you are able to breastfeed and have the support to do so. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that not every mother can. I couldn’t, for reasons that remain unclear even to my obstetrician. I almost allowed my baby to starve because I adhered too closely to the notion that “breast is best” rather than trusting my instincts.
Mothers should not be shamed for breastfeeding, but we also should not face stigma if we cannot. There is already enough judgment in the world, and it is unjust to criticize a mother for how she feeds her child, regardless of the method or circumstances.
In the spirit of solidarity, here’s my own Tree of Life selfie and a reminder that all mothers love their babies. Ultimately, if our children are happy, healthy, and thriving, that is what truly matters. For those interested in exploring fertility options, consider checking out this post about home insemination kits, which could be beneficial for your journey.
Summary
The article discusses the emotional complexities surrounding breastfeeding, particularly for mothers who are unable to breastfeed. While celebrating the normalization of breastfeeding through initiatives like the Tree of Life selfies, the author shares her personal struggles with breastfeeding and emphasizes the importance of supporting all feeding choices.
Keyphrase
breastfeeding challenges
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