Every mother eventually reaches a breaking point, leading to surprising declarations intended to correct behavior. This was certainly the case during the Christmas of 1983 for my family, when my five siblings and I were about to experience our mother’s unexpected approach to conflict resolution.
Growing up, our diverse personalities often clashed, resulting in frequent disputes that required our mother to intervene as referee. Each of us staunchly defended our viewpoints, understanding that if she couldn’t determine who was at fault, we all faced consequences.
On that particular Christmas morning, our mother was resolved to put an end to the bickering, even if it meant a temporary halt to festivities. With a firm voice, she announced that we wouldn’t be allowed to open our presents until we shared something kind about one another. The collective groans and eye-rolls from us made no difference to her. She was ready to wait all day if necessary.
As she recounts the story, the compliments were slow to emerge and rather simplistic. We barely made eye contact, instead fixating on the enticing gifts awaiting us. Eventually, Mom and Dad relented, allowing us to open our presents since we had technically complied with her request, and the holiday proceeded as usual.
However, my mother’s unique strategy did not end there. The following year, she repeated her proclamation, this time insisting on genuine compliments. Anticipation filled the air as we wondered what heartfelt words would unfold. By the third year, we were well-prepared; throughout the months leading up to Christmas, we noted kind deeds and special accomplishments. When it came time to unwrap presents, we had multiple genuine praises to share!
As the years rolled on, expressing kindness became increasingly effortless. My mother beamed with pride as she and Dad absorbed each word while we gathered in the living room, hoping that the warmth of the moment would linger before the next squabble began. I was just 13 when she first introduced this seemingly ridiculous idea, and now, at 47, we still adhere to the tradition of sharing kind words before diving into the gifts.
What began as a form of punishment has transformed into a treasured family ritual. Over time, our compliments have grown deeper and more significant. This moment is now the highlight of our Christmas celebration, a time when we all agree on something! It grants us the opportunity to articulate sentiments we often overlook throughout the year, filled with laughter and cherished memories interwoven with heartfelt acknowledgments.
Tears are not uncommon during this ritual, originating not just from the recipient of the kind words but also from the givers, moved by the love that binds our loud, chaotic family. It serves as an annual reminder of our strength despite challenges, reinforcing that we always support one another.
Now as grown adults with families of our own scattered across the country, we have far fewer opportunities for disputes. Our relationships have matured, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Perhaps this is because our mother taught us to appreciate the good in one another and to engage in meaningful conversations. Or maybe it’s a testament to the fact that one can disagree yet still offer sincere praise. Thank you, Mom.
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Summary
What began as a holiday punishment in 1983 has evolved into a cherished family tradition for Samantha Carter’s family, fostering kindness and connection during their Christmas celebrations. This yearly ritual enables them to express appreciation for one another, reinforcing their bond despite life’s challenges.
Keyphrase: Christmas family tradition
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