The emotional toll of fostering children is profound and deeply personal. Recently, I found myself in tears in a parking lot, overwhelmed by the memories of a child who had been in my care for just two and a half weeks. The sight of his forgotten toothbrush was a painful reminder of our fleeting time together. During those short days, I witnessed his joy as he learned to swing freely, and I soothed him through nights where fear had once kept him awake. He called me “mama,” and I reassured him that I would return whenever I promised. As I prepared him for his transition to a new home, I received a message from his new mother stating he missed me during nap time. I sent her a picture, hoping it would bring him some comfort.
Attachment and Its Challenges
Many people express hesitation about fostering due to the fear of forming strong attachments. Like them, I find it hard not to get attached. I was the one who could calm him to sleep and knew his favorite toast topping. I dealt with the challenges he faced, from tummy troubles to the occasional mishap with Christmas decorations. Watching him sleep filled my heart with a profound affection.
To those who believe they couldn’t foster due to the fear of attachment, I say this: yes, I do get attached. Every single time. I often wonder about the children I’ve cared for, sometimes waking from dreams with tears on my face. The pain can feel unbearable at times. Yet, I firmly believe that it is far better for these precious children to experience love, even if just for a short while, than to never know it at all. I am willing to carry their hurt in my heart, alleviating some of their burden.
The Importance of Love and Connection
It is a travesty that children, like an eight-year-old who has witnessed unimaginable trauma, should be deprived of the love that a caring stranger can provide. It is unacceptable for a toddler to remain in dirty clothes in a social worker’s office simply because of the fear of attachment. I embrace attachment. Each connection I make is a cherished honor, and I would not hesitate to do it all over again.
Resources for Those on a Fertility Journey
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Conclusion
In summary, fostering children brings a profound sense of attachment and love, even amidst the inevitable heartache. The impact of providing care and affection, even for a short time, is a privilege I cherish deeply.
Keyphrase: fostering children emotional attachment
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