In my experience with debilitating postpartum depression and anxiety, I found myself ensnared in a web of uncontrollable thoughts. I feared the most absurd scenarios, from my child’s well-being to catastrophic events. The burden of these worries made me question my capabilities as a mother, compounding my distress. Thankfully, my partner, Jake, was a steadfast support during this turbulent time. He guided me to a psychiatrist, who prescribed the necessary medication, and facilitated a nurturing environment by allowing me rest and preparing nutritious meals. Most importantly, he never uttered the words “just move on,” which would have been utterly unhelpful.
Similarly, when I opened up about my childhood trauma, I shared how it continues to shape my perception of myself. Despite the passage of time, the pain lingers, and the instinct to tell me to “get over it” is tempting. However, such statements are not constructive.
Disappointments, too, evoke emotions that aren’t easily dismissed. Whether it’s a child throwing a tantrum in a public place or facing minor inconveniences, telling someone to “just move on” does nothing to alleviate those feelings; instead, it often intensifies frustration.
It’s crucial to recognize that no one has the right to dictate another person’s emotional state. Emotions are complex and cannot simply be turned off like a faucet. If it were that simple, people would prefer to avoid negative feelings altogether. The only effective approach is to allow emotions to be experienced, acknowledged, and ultimately processed.
The phrase “just move on” can imply that individuals struggling with their feelings are somehow weak. This stigma is both rude and damaging, as it suggests that their feelings are invalid. When someone is told to dismiss their emotions, it sends a message that their struggles are inconvenient for others. This can lead to feelings of isolation, as they may feel unheard or disregarded.
A dismissive “just move on” can be perceived as callous and inadequate. Instead of offering support, it highlights the discomfort of the listener while neglecting the pain of the individual who is suffering. When someone is in distress, their feelings should take precedence, not the annoyance that those feelings may cause in others.
In instances of grief, mental health challenges, or even everyday frustrations, telling someone to “just move on” minimizes their experience. This approach can be perceived as uncaring and controlling. If you’re uncertain about what to say, consider alternatives that convey empathy, such as “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way” or “I wish things were different for you.”
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In summary, telling someone to “just move on” is not only unhelpful but can also be hurtful. It disregards the complexity of human emotions and can leave individuals feeling invalidated and isolated. A more compassionate approach involves listening and offering support rather than minimizing their experiences.
Keyphrase: why telling someone to get over it is unhelpful
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